Keepin up with the Forbes's

Sunland Christian School

2011-07-02T17:51:00.001-04:00

A few months ago, we learned that a few of our kids in 8th grade were going to be given an opportunity to learn English fluently and study in a private school in the city. This school is self-paced with teachers who work more as tutors, and all the material is in English. When our kids enter this school, they will probably start in a small classroom setting to practice learning English every day. As their English teacher, I'd be sad to see my best students leave, but I'm also excited for this great opportunity that our kids will be able to be a part of over the next four years. It is incredible to see kids move out of dangerous situations to safe ones, then from no opportunities to incredible opportunities. Currently, our only remaining obstacle is money. It costs about 4,000 dollars per student and we are still waiting for all of the funds to be raised for the kids to be able to start this program.

Those who have been chosen to be in this program are Donald, Stacy, and Silvia.

Donald Cazali is the son of the directors at Fundaniños. He is studying at our school and has been one of my best students in 8th grade. I've been impressed at how well he does in my math and English class and especially at how much more he desires to learn in school. Donald is the oldest boy at Fundaniños and so he is one of the closest boys to me. I've enjoyed being his teacher and friend over the past couple months, and I hope to continue growing closer to him as a mentor and friend over the next three months. Donald is excellent at soccer and karate and continually amazes me by how well he works with all ages of kids at Fundaniños. Donald is an artist and has expressed a desire to work in architecture or engineering down the road.

Riding Go-Karts a few weeks ago...thanks Mom and Dad for such a fun outing

Stacy Castañeda has lived at Fundaniños for about a year and a half. Rebekah and I both are very close to her and regularly have opportunities to have fun and share the gospel with her. She loves the Lord and shows that clearly through her positive and loving Spirit. She also demonstrates this love for the Lord in her desire to learn more about Him through listening well whenever the Word is taught and asking questions. She is a very special student to me and is constantly competing against Donald for the top grade. She is noticed by all volunteers that come to Fundaniños as a gifted leader in all that she does. Stacy also regularly helps out watching the younger girls in the girl's house. She has expressed a desire to be a chemical engineer or work in a job that would enable her to travel.

At the soccer game for the 10-11 year olds...a new opportunity that our friend Juan got for the kids


Practicing for music class. Stacy has gotten great on piano and drums.

Silvia Perez has lived at Fundaniños ever since Quique and Carol (the directors) arrived. She has lived in homes with them and her sister for the last 8 years. Silvia also does well in every subject. Rather than an obvious leader like Donald or Stacy, she is a little be quieter and a good friend to a few girls around her. Rebekah and I have enjoyed talking with Silvia about all sorts of things, continually seeking to point her to Christ. Silvia is funny, responsible, and very capable to do this program. Silvia also helps out watching the boys at Fundaniños and other groups of kids on a regular basis.


Helping cook and serve dinner

Hanging out with two of her friends

We feel like this is an incredible opportunity to care for the orphan by moving past providing clothes and shelter and offering an opportunity to learn English, go to college, and work in a job that can break the generational cycle of poverty.

If you feel led to give, send me an email at nathanforbes13@gmail.com.

Enjoying God in the Quiet

2011-06-21T22:42:00.000-04:00

Sometmes we feel like things never slow down, especially in the summer. We've spent the entire summer hanging out and helping out short-term mission trip groups on top of our normal schedules here. We love the time with friends, but it can be easy to forget to step away from the fun, laughter, and work...and move into the needed quiet.

As I sit on the porch swing in front of the baby house, eating hot tamales, and listening to the sounds of San Jose Pinula, I feel like I can breathe a little easier. I enjoy working, serving, and being with others, but there's something special about quietly sitting in the dark, listening to our poor town, and resting in the remembrance that our good God is in control.

Rebekah and I are still unsure what awaits us as we plan to head back to Texas in about 3 months. I've asked the Lord that he will guide us as we make big decisions, and I trust that the Lord will guide our steps. If you feel led to pray for us. Pray that God would continue to refine us and prepare us for a life of service to others, that they might know Jesus Christ.

If you haven't read the Fundaninos blog, you can find it here: Fundaninos. Our friend Susan has done a great job trying to fill you in a little more on the day to day happenings around here.

2011-06-05T19:45:00.000-04:00

It's crazy how quickly time flies here at Fundaninos. About six weeks ago, another complete stranger, Ginny, arrived at Fundaninos with a plan to stay for 6 weeks. We're never sure what to expect with other volunteers, but the Lord really encouraged us to love her and be hospitable to her no matter what her personality or faith is like. Isn't it crazy how easy it is for us to withhold big parts of our lives with those who might believe or act differently from us??? Well anyways, from the start, we had a great time with Ginny. We were also thankful that not only did she claim to know Christ, but she really loves him with her whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. Rebekah and her walked Mon-Fri from about 5:30-6:30 every morning, and I know they were both able to encourage and be encouraged by one another during this time. It's so cool how complete strangers can be so honest and so willing to serve one another because we've been bought by the blood of the lamb and have been made new creations.

Rebekah and I were also amazed at how quickly and often Ginny was willing and able to serve with taking care of babies and being a breath of fresh air to everyone in the baby house. I know everyone loved spending time with her and learned a lot about serving and speaking English from her! One thing that we also already miss is our regular games of Settler's after dinner. If you haven't played Settlers of Catan, you're missing out for sure! We had fun playing together, with Dunia (another short-term volunteer), and also with Donald (great English practice for my star student). Thankfully this summer is full of volunteers, so maybe we can squeeze a few more games in this summer.

What Rebekah and I are most excited about is that Ginny has been working and preparing to bring Kioka, one of our girls here, to Texas to live with her and study in a private school. After spending a lot of time with Kioka about 9 months ago, Ginny immediately started looking into how she could possibly bring Kioka to the states. Unfortunately, adoption is currently not in adoption (with the current government) and an exchange program was unable to happen due to Kioka being extremely far behind in school and without knowing English. Thankfully, due to the Lord's providence, the only school that agreed to accept her ended up being about 10 minutes away from Ginny's house! While in Guatemala, Kioka's aunt was able to meet with Ginny and agree to the idea. Afterward, they brought letters to Kioka's judge from the aunt, from Fundaninos, and from the school in Texas. We are currently waiting an answer from the judge. We pray that the judge will agree to the program which will then leave Kioka with only needing to be given a Visa and passport. The Lord is in control and it appears that he desires for this to happen. We've been so excited about it all!

It would be pretty amazing if Rebekah and I were able to visit one of our Fundaninos kids in Texas every few weeks when we return. This would be such a beautiful opportunity for the gospel to be thoroughly explained to Kioka as she might live with Ginny and become a part of The Village Church community.

May God be glorified in whatever may happen through this situation. He is a good, sovereign God who loves for us to glorify him when our plans work out and also when he moves them a different (better) direction.

Costa Rican Getaway

2011-05-02T18:13:00.000-04:00

Last week, there were no classes because of Holy Week. It seems like this holiday would have been instituted to help followers of Christ remember and consider his death, burial, and resurrection. However, just like any other national Christian holiday, it's become Central America's version of spring break.

Rebekah and I needed to renew our visa's, so we needed to get out of the country. It just so happened that the cheapest flights headed straight to Costa Rica. We stayed in a place called Malpais, which was basically just a town of surfers and people hanging out for Holy Week. As we arrived, Rebekah eagerly got the camera out to take a quick picture of us in Costa Rica. Unfortunately, we loaded pictures the day before and FORGOT THE MEMORY CARD. Thankfully, the Lord gave us much peace about still enjoying Him and the vacation, and we planned on taking a total of 10 pictures (all that the camera can hold without a memory card.) What we didn't expect was for our waterproof camera to get fried in the water. I guess closing the part that holds the battery would have been a good idea.

Over the course of the week, we:

1. Hung out on the beach
2. Took lots of walks together
3. Got to know everyone well in our bed and breakfast
4. Got to talk about Jesus and the gospel with one of the British surfers that lived in our B&B.
5. Read Harry Potter in Spanish
6. Visited a nature reserve with monkeys that followed us around in the jungle
7. Cruise around in an ATV to get to different beaches
8. Left feeling very refreshed in our relationships with the Lord and especially with one another

I didn't realize how stinky of a husband I had been lately until I was able to spend a sweet week alone with my wife and have a new, fresh desire to love her. I'm so thankful that Jesus isn't an emotionless Lord and lover toward us. He LOVES us tremendously and desires to be with us. That's nearly impossible to believe, as he is God and we're dirty sinners apart from his righteousness given to us, but it's true! As God's given me a newer, stronger desire to love my wife, I'm humbled by the strong, faithful love that Christ has for his church who is always prone to wander from the basics of the gospel.

I thought honeymoon just meant getaway right after your wedding, but I heard from a couple people that Costa Rica was our 2nd honeymoon. If that's the case, I'm hoping that we have the opportunity to keep going on annual honeymoons, because they're awesome!

Broken by the gospel

2011-04-05T14:06:00.003-04:00

Living in Guatemala and especially living at Fundaniños has been one of the spiritually hardest things I've ever done. I would honestly say for the most part, I've felt spiritually dry. I'm a very emotional person, and although love is so much more than a feeling, we still FEEL our love for God. We desire him, we feel happy to meet with him, we weep over his goodness. But these past 8 months, there has been little emotion on my part, with little spurts hear-and-there of thirst-quenching feelings for God. I've been praying that God would remind me of the truth of the gospel, and that he would open my eyes to see and my heart to FEEL the depth and breadth of his love for me, and for the world. Today he was so good to do that.

The gospel is an amazingly beautiful, awe-inspiring, heart breaking story of God's love for a broken, sinful, and hateful people. Our sin separates us from God. We cannot be a part of him, nor him of us, while our sin is shouting out hate and spitting on God's love. No matter how hard we try, we can never gain God's favor. He's perfect, and he demands perfection of us. We can't. Not only is it impossible, but we don't even desire it. We'll always love ourselves more than we love God and therefore, never choose him on our own. But God is not surprised by that. He knows us. He created us. He's known us since before we were born, and he knew that he would have to work a miracle if we were to be saved. That miracle was his son Jesus.

Jesus, being born of a virgin, and living a perfect and miraculous life, died for my sin. He died for the sins of the world. He took my shame, my guilt, my pain on himself and nailed it to the cross in the form of his own body. But sin could not conquer Christ. Three days later he rose from the dead, showing how sin no longer holds the power of death and how we too will walk in newness of life one day with Christ as we live with him in heaven and one day, on the new earth.

Today I was listening to a song by Bethany Dillon, and it broke my heart. It talks about the orphan, the widow, the whore, the broken. I think of myself. How dirty I am before God. How often have I whored myself to other loves, putting them before Christ. Letting idols take the place of the one true God in my heart. How I was orphaned, and God adopted me into his family. How I was broken by sin, and he restored, giving me new life.

And I also thought of our kids here at Fundaniños . Real orphans. Abandoned. Kids who have been sold as whores by their mothers. Kids who have beaten and thrown out. Kids who ran away from home and sought shelter in Fundaniños. My heart breaks for our kids here, my babies. I never knew the love that I would feel towards these little ones, and how the things that have been done to them would make me so angry. But praise God the story doesn't end with their brokeness, but it's just starting with God's redemption and healing. It's so beautiful as I see some of our kids who have truly come to know Christ as Savior, Lord, and Father. The things that their families meant for evil, God has turned to good as they came to hear the gospel at Fundaniños and are being renewed in mind, spirit, and body.

Thank you God for reminding of your gospel, your love for me, and your love for our children here in Guatemala. I pray that we would be ministers of your gospel, bring into the light those who are still in the dark.

Listen to this song and allow it to stir your affections for God. I know it did mine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5-DjMpuM0M

Shyanne

2011-04-04T19:12:00.001-04:00

In my last post, I mentioned our friends Denny and Barb. They work as missionaries for Orphan Resources International. Some of the main work we've seen them do is deliver food every month to over 50 orphanages around the country and work with the many teams that come down through ORI. We've also experienced the blessing of knowing them as they invite us to their home often, pick up groceries for us when we need something, and bring over banana bread, zucchini bread, or other treats. They are a wonderful family, committed to Jesus, the local church, and serving others.

Over the past two years, they have had Shyanne in their home as a foster daughter. They were going to keep her until Shyanne was finally adopted by her parents in Pennsylvania, but, unfortunately, the six year adoptive process didn't go through for Shyanne. Although the new law states that you may not adopt a child if you've had a relationship with them, CNA (the adoption branch of the govt.) asked if they would be willing to adopt her. Over the past few months, CNA has turned this into a long, drawn out "no" for the Freeds to adopt Shyanne. She cannot be adopted by the Freeds. She's slowly learning Spanish but has only ever lived with American missionaries in Guatemala. In the next month, to help the transition for Shyanne and the Freed family, she will be back into the system without family or anything familiar. She'll be just another orphan now. Along with not being able to adopt Shyanne, I believe that CNA has also said that because the Freed's job in Guatemala is with orphans, they are not allowed to adopt any orphan from Guatemala.

Shyanne is a sweet girl, and I'm going to miss her. Please pray for her and for the Freed family. May the God of hope and peace guard their hearts in Christ Jesus.

You can read about this entire process here: Shyanne's story

Evelyn and Joselin

2011-04-03T22:23:00.001-04:00

Left to Right: Joselin, Fernanda, Gaby, and Evelyn sitting down

I know I've written about Evelyn and Joselin so many times. I guess sometimes the greatest turmoil comes to the quietest and sweetest. In case you don't remember much about them, I'll fill you in.

They arrived due to an abusive nanny that the dad had hired to take care of them. Their home is in zone 18, which is one of the most dangerous in the city. After about a year of living at Fundaninos, the judge decided they were ready to move back to the same zone with the same woman. Two months later, we joyfully said hello to them again. The dad decided that they weren't worth paying somebody else to keep them. They've been back for about 4 months now, and we absolutely love both of them. Joselin is my quietest 4th grader, comes to my wednesday afternoon math tutoring that I have with about 7 of the kids, and is a wonderful bestfriend to her sister and to Gaby. Evelyn is my top 2nd grader. She's 11, but she just learned how to read last school year at Fundaninos. She rocks at math and english and, without fail, gives me a 2 minute hug everyday as the school day finishes.

Saturday was visitation day, and this is always a difficult day. Some parents will never be granted access to see their kids again, some have the ability but don't come the one oppotunity every month, and other families come with grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and siblings. Joselin and Evelyn's dad (obviously) does not currently have a court order to come; however, he showed up and spent some time with the girls with all the other visitors. Not only did they not want to see their dad, but they had to see him kicked out (politely) with all their friends watching. Needless to say, both left crying with no desire to say bye to him.

Our good friends, Denny and Barb, with their daughters took about 6 kids out to a mall/roller coaster, and Evelyn was one of the few that was allowed to go. This was a special way of having fun with a group of kids who never have a family member visit. Joselin wasn't able to go, so we had her over for lunch. She invited Gaby, and we had a great time talking and eating with them. Joselin is quiet and loves to laugh, and Gaby is the more energetic, talkative type. We always enjoy times with them in our home.

During lunch, Gaby went to the bathroom, and the Holy Spirit was able to speak to Joselin through me. I was able to tell her that God created family to show us how loving His family is and parents teach us, take care of us, and to give us a small picture of the unconditional love of God. I told her that her dad, does not show her who God is, but that Rebekah and I know that she is sweet, smart, beautiful, special, and a good friend. Her earthly father may not want a relationship with her, but her heavenly father desires to speak to her through his Word and listen and comfort her through prayer.

With some kids, we are able to share the gospel, talk about the gospel, and talk deeply about any questions that they may have about the gospel. Others love us because of our consistent care and love although we may never get the opportunity to speak to them about our wonderful savior, and others, like Joselin, may not talk much but are willing to listen and believe that they have a loving Father who desires a relationship with them. Thanks be to God that he was willing to slay his only Son to bring us into his loving family!

I've gotten about three opportunities in the past 2 months to share the gospel with Evelyn. Please pray that Rebekah and I will be faithful to speak truth to these girls and love them constantly. May God be glorified through their worship of Him!

Evelyn's 11th bday party last month

I believe in hell

2011-03-20T12:35:00.000-04:00

I have no clue how long ago, Rob Bell released his video promoting the book, "Love Wins", but I just got around to watching it. From what I've seen, Bell is claiming that, in the end, even after we've died in this world, God's love will melt the hearts of all people, and all will go to heaven.

However, our God is holy and just and cannot have a relationship with dirty, sinful people. If God was fair, everyone would go to hell, because that's what we've earned through our sin. Thanks be to God, that Jesus came to live a perfect, holy life and to die the terrible death of a sinner. Through this, an incredible exchange was made where my ugly sin was put on Him and his perfect, righteousness was given to me. My sin must be paid for, and as I, by faith, asked Jesus to save me, my sin was completely paid for in the brutal death of Jesus.

Here's two videos that can give you a deeper look into what Rob Bell is preaching, and a very thorough article explaining what the Bible truly teaches on hell.

Love Wins

Interview on MSNBC

"To Hell With Hell" by Mark Driscoll

Rid of My Disgrace

2011-03-09T16:58:00.010-04:00

Yesterday, I bought a book on our kindle called "Rid of my Disgrace" by Justin and Lindsay Holcomb. The goal of this book is "hope and healing for victims of sexual assault." After reading the first three chapters, I've been blown away. I never realized how prevalent my opportunity would become in applying the gospel to the broken stories of sexually abused kids, and I also had no idea how bad I would be at it. This book tore me apart as I thought about a recent conversation we had with a sexually abused girl here at Fundaninos, and it filled me with joy as I read about the wonderful grace of God.

I can't imagine how confused, fearful, and broken I would be if instead of protecting me and loving me, my parents beat me and made a job out of selling me to men for their sexual appetites.

I also can't help but rejoice in the amazing grace of God as I see how his grace can transform and redeem the worst of situations.

Of all that I've read so far in this book, I've been overwhelmed with a few quotes in the first chapter. I hope you're blessed in reading them.

"What happened to you was not your fault. You are not to blame. You did not deserve it. You did not ask for this. You should not be silenced. You are not worthless. You do not have to pretend like nothing happened. Nobody had the right to violate you. You are not responsible for what happened to you. You are not damaged goods. You were supposed to be treated with dignity and respect. You were the victim of assault and it was wrong. You were sinned against. Despite all the pain, healing can happen and there is hope."

"Disgrace is the opposite of grace. Grace is love that seeks you out even if you have nothing to give in return. Grace is being loved when you are or feel unlovable. Grace has the power to turn despair into hope. Grace listens, lifts up, cures, transforms, and heals....

Disgrace destroys, causes pain, deforms, and wounds. It alienates and isolates. Disgrace makes you feel worthless, rejected, unwanted, and repulsive. Disgrace silences and shuns. Your suffering of disgrace is only increased when others force your silence. The refusals of others to speak about sexual assault and listen to victims tell the truth is a refusal to offer grace and healing."

"A good short definition of grace is 'one-way love.' This is the opposit of your experience of assault, which was 'one-way violence.'"

"Martin Luther describes this good news: 'God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind, and life to none but the dead...He has mercy on none but the wretched and gives grace to none but those who are in disgrace.'"

"When victims are abused and shamed, often the response (or lack thereof) of family and friends continues to pile on the shame. Those who should have been supportive and taken her side did not. They minimized what had happened, showing that they did not understand the depth of Tamar's pain." (Story from 2 Samuel 13)

"However, there was one who later came and entered her pain and shame. Jesus Christ was killed, not for revenge but to bear her shame on the cross and to offer her a new robe of righteousness to replace her torn robes of disgrace. How Tamar felt after the assault, describes in verse 19, is shockingly similar to what Jesus experienced leading up to and during his crucifixion. Jesus entered her pain and shame as Tamar's substitute to remove the stain of sins committed against her, and he rose from the dead to bring her healing and hope."

Here's a free chapter of the book if you're interested in reading more: Chapter 1

I think reading about sexual assault isn't a big enough deal to most of us, because even staggering statistics are still just numbers. I think spending time teaching and playing with these kids is what has truly broken my heart for them, giving me a desire, with everything in me, to enter their brokenness and relieve some of the pain. I pray that the Lord would bear fruit in our ministry and bring glory to Himself through redeeming many children here at Fundaninos, because only Jesus can bear their sin, shame, and guilt. Through the substitution that he made on the cross, he received our ugly disgrace and gave us his beautiful grace.

I'm also surprised at how few victims of sexual assault I know back home. I think one big reason for that is the social classes that I tend to seek out. I hope when we return that we might continue to have clean hearts and dirty hands as we love those who don't fit into our nice rules and regularities. I think whether we're in Guatemala or the United States, it's time to take the gloves off and live life with those who are different and not only with those who follow a similar behavioral guideline. Sin has spread to all men, and so it doesn't matter the color, the background, or the amount of money that people have. They (just like us) all need Jesus and all need Christians to tell them about his wonderful grace.

It's hard to imagine such fun, beautiful kids being disgraced by the ones who are called to love them the most. Although all of these kids have been abused, not everyone here has been sexually abused.

Renewing our visas: A 4 day process

2011-03-03T18:59:00.000-04:00

Day 1: Spent a couple hours driving and waiting in lines to learn that we also needed to bring 1"x1"photos with our other documents. There wasn't another photo shop nearby that has the ability to print these on matted paper, so we headed back to Funaninos after running a few other errands.

Day 2: During my recess period at school we hurried to San Jose Pinula (our bustling Pueblo) to take some photos on matted paper, so we could head back to immigration later that afternoon. By the way, we took these pictures at a Kodak store in the middle of a poor, Guatemalan town. The whole place was filled with film to buy from the 90's and awesome Kodak ads that were probably printed in 1992. Lot's of bad photoshop and incredible haircuts. Later that afternoon, as we were getting close to the immigration office in the city, Rebekah read the fine print and realized that our photos needed to be black and white. Who knows why any of this is necessary, but they were very clear that day that color photos just can't do the job. We found another photoshop nearby and made plans to come back the next day to pick them up and finish up our immigration process.

Day 3: (Tuesday) Picked up our awesome photos. I looked like a gringo that rolled up to Guatemala mainly for the drugs, and Rebekah's frustrations from day 2 were definitely noticeable in her intense mugshot. We headed back to immigration and finally succeeded in giving them everything they wanted along with our passports. We'll back back on the 11th to pick up our passports. That'll be day #4.

Needless to say, these three afternoons weren't filled serving at Fundaninos, talking about Jesus, or loving the kids in some other tangible way. They were filled with us cruising around, waiting in lines, and getting ready to do the same thing the following day. Throughout this process and looking back, I'm praying that the concepts of waiting on the Lord and honoring Him were taught to us in lasting ways.

What does it mean to rest in the Lord?

I think it's pretty simple.

It means gladly taking opportunities away from things that demand our time, energy, thoughts, and money to trust that our sovereign God is completely in control and will always do what is in accordance to His perfect will. For me, this can often look like giving the Lord control over my effectiveness (or ineffectiveness) in ministry. The Father wrote some very fortunate names in the book of life before the foundation of the world, and I can't add anything or take anything away from that! I can work, die to myself, and seek to endure all things for the sake fo the elect, but I can't acomplish salvation for anyone. As Rebekah has had to sit out of work and ministry for an entire month now because of her back, and as I've had to do a few mindless chores like renewing my Visa, I believe that the Spirit has begun to call us to trust Him and to put all of our hopes, desires, efforts, and plans into His hands. It's so easy and light to know that, in every way, my life and everyone else's lives are under control. So, I'll keep working out my salvation with fear and trembling and calling others to do the same, but I'll also remember that it is our God who calls, saves, and preserves. I'm so thankful.

On that same note, this past week was a beautiful reminder to us that the Lord doesn't want us to be heroes; he just wants us to worship and honor Him in every way we can. In renewing our Visas, we're called to trust Him, continue to rejoice in His grace and mercy, and continue to consider others more important than ourselves throughout the process for the sole reason that we are children of a great and glorious God who is completely worthy of our worship.

Prayer requests:
-Rebekah's back (she's doing great this week!)
-Claudia's bday party tomorrow night (relationship building and hopeful gospel conversations)
-Karate tournament on Saturday (same as above)
-Stacy: kind of the All-star of the girls but is currently struggling through some issues. Pray that behavioral changes will come after a heart change of believing and loving the gospel.

Chiropractor and Lady Bug Craft

2011-02-10T09:33:00.006-04:00

Many of you may have heard that I'm out this week because I hurt my back. Back in December, Nathan and I were doing P90X (the amazing work out DVDs) with our wonderful roommates Scott and Carrie. I thoroughly enjoyed doing these workouts as it had been really hard for me to find any consistent way of working out since we had come here in July.

One day while we were working out, I noticed that my lower back was hurting. I thought that I had probably just stretched some muscle or over done it the day before and decided I would try to just push through it. After a couple of days of this and almost breaking down in tears during the workout, Nathan suggested that maybe I should take a break from exercising until my back felt better. Good idea.

I stopped working out and tried to not lift heavy things, you know, the things you always hear doctors reccommend for your back, but to no avail. My back continued to hurt. In fact, it started getting worse. I was now taking 12 ibuprofen a day just to function somewhat normally. As my back continued to get worse I was barely making it through my class in the morning. It's hard to work with people who are two feet tall when it hurts to bend over and get on their level. I was getting frustrated.

Nathan finally convinced me that I needed to take time off of work and to rest completely. Our friend Denny, who is a nurse, had told us that that was the only way my back would get better. So as of last Friday we decided that I would no longer teach my class and officially be on bed rest until my back was better.

On Monday, I met with a chiropractor that came recommended from Vilma, the founder of Fundaninos. They have been using this woman for years and really trust her. The chiropractor confirmed that indeed I had a herniated disk and my sciatic was severely inflamed. My femur had also moved and she had to set it back in place. Fun.

I've never been to a chiropractor before and it was... let's just say... an interesting experience. At one point she had me laying on my back and told me to put my legs in the butterfly position. She started pushing gently down on my knees to where I was feeling a good stretch and the all of the sudden... WHABAM! Shoves my knees down to the mat as hard she can. OW LADY! I thought I came here for some back work, I don't have the groin of Gumby!

She also gave me an injection in my back and two acupuncture needles. Fortunately my left cheek was so numb at this point from all the massaging that I didn't feel too much.

Praise God, I really have been feeling better. Nathan has been working SO hard for me this week it's unbelievable. I have a super hero for a husband. Nathan offered to teach my class in the afternoons so that my kids wouldn't be falling behind. That means, getting up at 6:00 to be at work at 7:30, teaching till 1:30, eating lunch, and then going back down to teach till 5:00. Then he comes up, cooks dinner, cleans the house, and hangs out with me. Needless to say he's been going to bed at about 8:30 every night absolutely exhausted.

Even though Nathan has been teaching my class, I've still been preparing all the lesson plans. On Tuesday, I had a really super cute craft planned out. Since next week is Dia del amor (Valentine's day), I wanted to have our crafts be centered around that. On Tuesday the kids were going to make lady bugs out of hearts. I made an example for Nathan to be able to show the kids before they did the craft.

Cute, huh? First the kids were going to have to paint the main heart red, then glue on the two black hearts and the head, then the googly eyes. One thing I've found about being a kindergarten/preschool teacher is that there is so much prep involved. Just to do this small craft, i had to trace and cut out 10 big hearts and 33 little black hearts. It probably took me almost 2 hours just for all the prep work.

After the kids did the craft I was hoping to use them on my door as decorations for Valentine's Day. I had it all planned out.

When Nathan came up from class on Tuesday afternoon, he brought up all the work the kids had done that day. Of course the first thing I wanted to see was my cute little lady bugs. Nathan brought me the craft, and this is what I saw:

........... "What is that?"........... How did my class go from making cute little lady bugs to heart monsters??? Apparently, somewhere in the 2 minutes it takes to walk from our house to the school, Nathan had lost all 33 of the little black hearts I cut out. Well, he still had the googly eyes, so he thought he'd make the best of it.

I.. was... INFURIATED. I bawled. I clenched my jaw really hard. I thought nasty things in my mind. How could he do this to my beautiful craft? The craft I had spent hours of prep work on? The craft I was going to use to make my door so beautiful for Valentine's day? And where did that ugly color red come from? How can you loose 33 little black hearts so quickly?

Nathan spent the next 30 minutes consoling me as I cried on the bed, not looking at him. Fortunately, as we serve a good God who brings repentance and forgiveness to his children, I was able to get over it. I realized how absolutely selfish I was being. Nathan had been so wonderful to offer to give up all his free time to teach 9 kids between the ages of 3 and 6, and I was raking him over the coals for not doing the craft right. I wanted control. I wanted to know that even though I was laid up in bed for the week, that my class was still going to be run MY way. Well guess what? Nothing's mine, it's all the Lords. I'm not in control, God is. That way, when things don't go the way we planned, we don't have to worry about it, or get angry, or clench our jaw really hard and hurt our teeth. We can know that God is good and sovereign, even over crafts.

I've been memorizing Psalm 37 and in part of the chapter it says:

"Refrain from anger, forsake wrath. Fret not yourselves, it tends only to evil."

I didn't forsake wrath when it came to my craft, I let it ooze out of me in burning tears and angry words at Nathan. I'm praying that the rest of this week I will refrain from anger and forsake wrath, and live in the freedom and the joy that Christ bought for me through his death on the cross. Being laid up in bed not doing anything can be hard, but I know that God is good. He's faithful. He's healer. I'm deciding to give him the control and trust.

Still trying to figure out normal schedule

2011-02-01T15:36:00.000-04:00

Starting school has been really busy for us, and with planning and resting in the afternoons, our afternoon/night schedule has been pretty unpredictable. This has allowed us to be ready for class each day, but I can tell that a set schedule that pushes us to love these kids when we're tired is something that I hope will be ready soon.

As we've advanced further in the language, we've both gotten the joy of nearly daily conversations centered on the gospel. We've gotten to counsel through extremely difficult situations, talk about our future inheritance in the New Earth with Jesus, and how we ought to currently live in the meantime. There is nothing more joyful and encouraging than talking about how good and gracious is our Lord!

One thing that I desperately need to accomplish before our friends Scott and Carrie leave is learn how to drive our stickshift buses. So far, I've made the time to go driving one time, and I'm sure it'll all be fine if I can just find a couple good afternoons in the next few weeks. The main reason for this is that we can easily feel stranded out here with no escape if, in fact, there is no escape. I'm hoping that Rebekah and I will be able to visit friends, buy our groceries, and go on dates over the next 7 months...rather than just trying to figure out a different option every week.

I think one thing that I've learned recently is how good God is to not give us what we want when we don't want him above all else. God is the creator of the Universe, the author and savior of my faith, and has promised to take me away from this sinful, temporary world to live forever with him in paradise. I'm learning and want to learn more about taking his promises seriously and not taking the day to day trials seriously. There's no joy in this world but there's infinite joy in knowing, loving, trusting, and obeying our amazing God.

I hardly took in pictures in January, but I thought I'd share a few from a few weeks ago when the little ones got to swim one afternoon.

First Week of School: Done

2011-01-21T19:54:00.001-04:00

Over the past 2 months, we've enjoyed sleeping in, helping out in different ways, and having more opportunities to spend time with the kids during the day; however, I was so ready to get back to a normal schedule. I'm thankful for the new blessings that come with our new schedule.

-Listening and learning from Quique as he preaches verse by verse through books of the bible every morning at 6:30 (currently Nehemiah)

-Seeing kids learn English and math to fight against the oppressiveness of the situation they were born into

-Showing them what a strong man who loves Jesus looks like

-Having opportunities to speak the gospel into a plethora of situations

-Exploding my brain with the Spanish flood that comes everyday

-Watching them grow and improve

-Helping them memorize their bible verses for the week

-Helping out in the afternoons with reading/music practice

-Hoping for more opportunities to instruct and model with a redeemed person looks like

-Lord willing, repenting, as I often fall short

-Watching my wife thrive as a Pre-K and Kindergarten teacher; her kids are being loved tremendously, while learning how to obey, how to know God, how to work well with others, and how to take care of things and supplies.

Hopefully Rebekah can share some of her hilarious stories sometime soon.

Haven't moved much today

2011-01-03T16:29:00.002-04:00

It’s that time again…my diahrrea alarm clock went off at 3:00 this morning…11 hours later I’m sitting on the couch trying not to move too much. Hopefully blowing my nose from a cold won’t cause any unwanted surprises.

Today’s been a good time to be encouraged talking on gchat, listening to theologically rich, awesome music (Lecrae), seeking the Lord’s will, and considering how He desires to use me this upcoming year.

I’m thankful that I can rest in the fact that Jesus is the author and finisher of my faith, and that he will direct my steps this coming year. Here’s a few ways that I’m hoping that I may grow in as I seek to work out my faith in fear and trembling.

1. Time alone in prayer. I love worshiping the Lord with my wife and in community, but I’ve noticed how my flesh seeks to draw me away from all types of prayer, especially in sweet times alone with my Father.

2. Become quicker and more joyful in forgiveness. This first applies to my marriage but my pride struggles to bear the sins of other and fully forgive the wrongs committed against me.

3. Wiser in providing and protecting my family. With our schedule here at Fundaninos, there is a balance between serving and always saying yes and guarding our family and fun time.

4. Becoming fluent in Spanish. This involves the Holy Spirit enlightening me as I am diligent to read, talk, listen, and study.

5. Discipling people at Fundaniños. We’ve built trust and formed relationships. We’ve both been able to have many opportunities to share the gospel, encourage, and teach through day to day happenings. What we haven’t started yet is a bible study in our house. This is something that has only not started (besides previous language barriers), because we haven’t gotten around to getting it going. I look forward to this becoming a regular part of our interactions with the kids.

6. Exercising and eating a healthier diet. Rebekah and I have started a workout called P90X with our friends Scott, Carrie, and Ana. On top of doing this workout, a more disciplined diet is something that I hope to get used to this year.

7. Using more discretion and being more purposeful in our free time. With more freedom in our nights and weekends this coming year, I’m hoping that we can claim each free moment to enjoy and deepen our relationships with one another and with the Lord.

At the zoo with a group of kids that Scott and Carrie brought one afternoon

Your faithfulness to encourage us and pray for this coming year will help us more than you or I will ever know.

Internet Back

2010-12-29T21:27:00.000-04:00

I wanted to make a few updates...just wanted to let you know that we're still alive and working for the glory of God.

The joys of getting our internet back after 10 days. I'm thankful that we were able to have some form of communication with our families back home over Christmas, but it's nice to now be able to keep up with friends and family a little more than an hour every week or so. We miss you!

We're still on our break from school. We've loved sleeping in, especially after all the random things we've done lately. Manual labor and organizing jobs, activities, court hearings, more activities...It's been really nice to help and serve Fundaninos in a new way during this time.

Rebekah and I are still learning what it means to be husbands and wives who honor God and not ourselves. It has been beautiful to see how the Lord continues to rip away selfishness through granting us humble and forgiving hearts. It's incredible how powerful the Holy Spirit is to change me and always remain faithful.

Please pray for the Holy Spirit to awaken hearts to the joys of knowing Jesus.

Look/Love Outside Your Bubble!

2010-12-13T15:20:00.000-04:00

It's funny sometimes how selfish I am in ways that seem unselfish. Praise be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ who saved a sinner like me.

While in College Station, I could have cared less about the orphan crisis here in Guatemala. I could have probably told you the concerns and issues in my tiny self-focused bubble, but I wouldn't have been able to tell you how often I cried for the lost, the poor, the trafficked in the world...because they weren't in my daily routine or my daily concerns.

While in Guatemala, I've become more and more burdened for abused children and the poor here in Guatemala. But don't try getting me to muster up desire to pray and care about the MUCH WORSE situations throughout Africa, Haiti, and many other countries in the world, because, currently, it's not happening.

There is a war between the flesh--my old sinful nature, and the spirit--my new nature, full of love and compassion. Have I quenched the Spirit to not care about the broken in this world? In 1 Thessalonians 5:19, we are told to not quench the Spirit, immediately after being commanded to "be joyful, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances." Does this mean that I need to try harder to be more joyful, prayerful, and thankful? Well..Yes. But rather than focusing on doing better, the Lord calls us to know the gospel and be changed by it. He calls us to replace our idols that suppress our joy, prayers, and thankfulness with the wonderful prize of Jesus.

Here's a few ways that I hope to bring change in my life. A change to be spirit-led which leads to joy, prayer, and thankfulness, as well as a strong affection to see the sick healed of sin and the broken restored to a right relationship with our Heavenly Father.

1. Daily remind myself of the gospel: I inherited the same sinful heart from Adam as everyone else. Because of the culture I was blessed to grow up in, my sin hasn't looked quite as bad as others, but it has still separated me from our holy God. However, while in bondage to my sin, Jesus chose to die for me so that I would be adopted into his family. What a gracious, humble Savior! It doesn't matter what sin is being shown--our neighbors (with different skin color and income level) and our world need to be saved by grace..."But how are they to believe in him, of him whom they have never heard...how will they hear without someone preaching." Are you willing to be sent (move your house and daily life) to a different group of people on the other side of town who desperately need someone to preach (explain the gospel) and to disciple (regularly model and teach the gospel).

Not everyone needs to live with people who look, think, or act differently, but are you willing to follow Jesus in this way?

2. Position my family to interact with sinners. We will minister to the people around us. When our only friends are white, middle-class, nominal Christians, our ministry will only involve the "rich" of the world. When Rebekah and I don't make a point to reach out to the kids or workers here at Fundaninos through fun times and work times with a gospel readiness, we are choosing to not love them with a conviction to see the gospel change their lives. I think I'm ready to get a little messy in seeking to love better in my community and pray wilder for the oppressed in the world. Jesus talked a lot about coming for the poor and the sick...That doesn't mean that they're our only ministry, but avoiding them seems to be contradictory to following Jesus.

3. Repent of my lack of love for Jesus and the good news that He has brought to me. Repent of hiding from those I'm called to minister to. Repent of my lack of care when people are in bondage around the world, and I don't give it more thought than a click of the computer mouse.

Burn the Devil Day

2010-12-11T00:58:00.001-04:00

One interesting holiday we celebrate here in Guatemala is called "Burn the Devil Day." This involves building a big bonfire and burning red devil pinatas full of fireworks. Guatemalan's definitely destroy the United States in having fun with fireworks...especially at an orphanage. I've always thought it was boring to wait around in a big crowd for a few hours to see some small lights in the sky. Fireworks at Fundaninos, thankfully, are not boring. Although, after this past Monday, I can understand why some Americans would rather sit at a safe distance away from big, colorful fireworks rather than sit a few feet away from a devil bonfire exploding, sending kids screaming and running, and, later, kids of all ages shooting every type of fireworks up in the air, off to the side, and occasionally even into a group of people. I'm thankful that it wasn't boring and that only one boy received a burn from a stray firework.

"Hey sorry about that burn on your back...at least you had fun running around shooting off fireworks and away from all the stray bullets, right?" (The burn is pretty small...kinda like touching a hot stove)

After burning the devil, throwing fireworks into the fire, and properly shooting off other fireworks, we ate hot dogs. If you don't know this, Scott and Carrie are our new roommates. They are here for four months and enrich our lives in basically every way.We eat, workout, keep a schedule, laugh, and serve better because of them. Well anyways, Scott is a hick from Texas and has brought the famous weekly hot dog roast to Fundaninos. As always, the hot dog night was a great opportunity to play, talk, and love other people outside.

The hot dog king

Oh, did I forget to mention that Santa Clause came about an hour before we burned the devil? I guess that's the way things go sometimes at Fundaninos. A night full of wild, guatemalan craziness.

Unfortunately, not everyone was excited to see Santa.

Don't Grow Weary

2010-11-30T12:22:00.003-04:00

And let us not grow weary of doing good. For in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. Galatians 6:9-10

We have officially been in the states for twelve days now and it has been a wonderful time. We needed refreshment. We needed to have some time together as a married couple. I didn't realize until we got back to the states how little one-on-one time we actually get together at Fundaninos. Even just our time driving from one place to another in the car has been very special to me. Seeing our family has been wonderful. Broken skype conversations don't always do the trick, so having some quality time to sit down and talk together has been sweet.

Being in the states has been a mix of emotions for me. I've realized as we've been home that I've grown a little weary. I've realized that when we face trials at Fundaninos, that instead of turning to the Lord and giving my worries to him, I turn to complaining, anxiety, and frustration.

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

The Lord wants us to cast our burdens on him. He says he'll never give us more than we can bear. But if we refuse to give our burdens to him, if we try to do things without God and carry the load ourselves, our back begins to bend and our knees begin to shake... our steps come slower and slower until we're forced to a crawl. Those burdens can become too much when we refuse to cast them upon the Lord.

School had become a stone in my burden. Instead of trusting the Lord with teaching, I've been stuck in anxiety feeling unequipped for next years school year and like I'll never be a good enough teacher for these kids. Lord thank you for reminding me that when we are weak, you are strong. Thank you for allowing me to teach these kids, and give them a much better education that what they would receive in the public school system in Guatemala. Thank you for giving me two special needs kids for my class next year. Remind me that if it weren't for Fundaninos, these kids would always be considered worthless and would probably never receive an education. These little ones are treasures to you, remind me of how rich I am by getting to serve them.

The adoption situation was also a stone on my back. As I've been home, I've seen families in a new light. It's so beautiful to see little ones with their parents who love them and care for them. Over the Thanksgiving break I got to meet my new Chinese cousin, Gracie, for the first time. Gracie is six years old. It was beautiful to see Gracie in her new family, to see how well she is adapting. Gracie has little attachment issues and has been able to give and receive physical affection from her new parents. She's learning English quickly and, although there were many times I couldn't understand anything she said, I was impressed with how much she has learned in the 3 short months she's been here. It was such a blessing to see this life and how blessed she is in her new family. It was also heartbreaking for me. I couldn't help but think of all of our kids at Fundaninos, so desperate for family, so needy for that love and affection. Many of the kids don't know the adoption situation in Guatemala. They don't know that because international adoptions aren't happening, the chances of them getting adopted are slim to none. With each year that passes without the adoption law changing, they're moving farther and farther away from adoptability. The older they get, the more likely it is they'll live in a orphanage for the rest of their lives. It's been hard for me to bear. Lord, forgive me for not allowing you to bear it for me. Remind me these are your creation, your children. Remind me that you love them more than I ever could and you are not blind to their suffering. You know their needs. You can meet them far better than I ever could.

I've been reminded as I've been home to pray for big things. I can pray for the government to change. I can pray for the adoption law to be changed and allow our kids to be put in families. If God can part the Red Sea, if he can use an army of 300 to beat an army of thousands, if he can raise Jesus from the dead and forgive the sins of those who hate him, than he's bigger than the Guatemalan government.

I've also been reminded of the gospel. It's easy to get wrapped up in all the suffering and problems we see and forget our purpose in going to Fundaninos. We can bring hope. We know how to turn on the light in the darkness. It's Jesus. It's his perfect life that he lived. It's his horrendous death on the cross and the blood that he shed in my place. It's how he conquered sin and death and rose from the dead. It's the freedom that he offers from sin. It's life and life abundant. We have that. We can give that. Lord help me to not get side tracked by things of this world, but to daily remind myself of the gospel and to give it to the people you have called me to.

I'm excited about going back to Fundaninos. I'm excited about seeing our kids and hugging them and kissing them and spending time with them. I feel so refreshed. Thank you Lord for your grace and your patience towards me. I know with you, I won't grow weary in doing good.

Ivan

2010-11-06T19:24:00.002-04:00

My heart moves from hating Ivan to weeping for Ivan every weekend that we watch the boys house. I wish the government would allow us to love him through spankings. It's hard to not disengage when my hands are tied to bring effective discipline. I hope with all my heart that I may see the day when Ivan isn't stealing from his caregiver and the kids, lying about everything, hitting and kicking me and the little ones, destroying toys and property, and starting fires. I hope that day won't only be a major behavior change but a changed heart from God. We're bent toward sin, and only the work of new birth by the Holy Spirit can bring forth lasting, eternal change to this sinful and abused boy. God's arm is not too short too save. I thank him and praise him that he saved a wretch like me!

A few minutes ago, I sat, listened, and cried as Enrique talked to Ivan for about 25 minutes outside. Enrique has been teaching, disciplining, praying, and enduring with Ivan for about three years now. He talked about the ways that Enrique and I desire to help Ivan and how Ivan refuses to listen or be helped. He talked about Ivan's older brother that was sent away from Fundaninos to a juvenile center. He reminded Ivan about the man that taught their family about fire and the huge burn covering his six year old sister's leg. He talked about how the only option to help him stop his disobedience may be to handcuff Ivan to the fence each and every day. He told Ivan how Rebekah and I are dying to have someone else watch the boys on these weekends because of his continual rebellion, tantrums, and disrespect. He also explained, for the millionth time, how Ivan's dirty heart and mind need to be cleaned through an understanding of the love of God.

Our Savior saved those who, for no reason, spit on him, laughed at him, punched him, tortured him, exposed him naked to the world, and killed him. We have similar hearts. Do you ever stop to think about how Ivan's rebellion looks a lot like your rebellion before the Lord? Not only are we full of sin before Him, but even our good deeds to earn his favor are disgusting to him. There's a reason God created hell, and it's because you and me are incurably wicked on our own. Our only cure is found in the perfect life and death of Jesus who paid the price of many.

So...I can forgive Ivan. Not only because I've been forgiven everything, but because this broken world is NOT my home. What a glorious thought that we get to leave this broken world for a land of perfection with the King of Kings. Because if it weren't for Jesus and his wonderful good news, I would've thrown Ivan over the Fundaninos wall a long time ago.

I know I don't need to ask but please pray.

3 Months Down, 12 More to Go

2010-10-29T17:02:00.000-04:00

I like giving month updates. Somehow the day to day seems pretty repetitive here, yet so much goes on in a month. I've been a little absent from the blogging world, letting Nathan do most of the writing, so I thought I would jump in and sum up what's been going on around here.

This month we started having group of kids over in the evenings to hang out, play games, watch movies, and form deeper relationships with them. We started with the girl's house since there's a lot more of them and we often do special things with the boy's house when we watch them every other weekend. The girls have loved coming over here. Since Nathan is down in the school with them, he would get asked multiple times a day about coming over. It's been an especially neat time for me because not only do I not teach the older kids, but my class doesn't even meet in the school, we meet in the baby house. I haven't gotten as much interaction with the older girls as Nathan has so I've loved being able to cook for them, hang out with them, and laugh with them in a fun and comfortable environment.

Most importantly we've hoped these times would provide opportunities to speak truth into these girls lives, to talk about Jesus and what it means to follow him. Interestingly enough, one of the best conversation starters has been the only pictures we brought with us to Guatemala:

The girls LOVE this picture. They love telling me how I used to be so pretty... thanks girls. Anyways, although they love this picture, they never know exactly what's going on in it. For those of you who went to our wedding, you know that Nathan washed my feet during the ceremony. This was a representation of how, in our marriage, Nathan is supposed to represent Jesus and I am supposed to represent the church. Jesus leads the church. The church submits to Jesus. But Jesus did not come as a tyrannical leader, he came to serve. Nathan leads our family in this way: serving. Many of these kids have never seen a healthy marriage. They've never seen a husband who faithfully loves and serves his wife. We get to live this out in front them every day and we get to talk more about our servant Savior who came to die for us.

Often after seeing this picture, they want to see the rest of our wedding photos. This always leads to them seeing our very FIRST kiss, our kiss at the alter. This always allows to talk about purity with them, what it means to see one another as brothers and sisters in Christ; what it means to love Jesus more than ourselves. We want to be able to share the gospel with these girls not by having scheduled one-on-one meetings with them and coming with an agenda of what to talk about, but rather just by living life with them. Playing with them. Talking with them. Suffering with them as they share their stories with us. The truth and beauty of the gospel can just come naturally that way. And it has. Me and Kioka with some delicious chocobananos.
This has become one of our favorite treats to make
with the kids.

Andrea enjoying ice cream with crushed
up oreos, chocolate sauce, and cherries.

Gabby, Nathan, Jasmyn, Joselin, and Fatima enjoying
more chocobananos. They were by far the craziest group
we had. They were running around the house laughing and scream
almost the whole night.

Another great thing that went on this month is we got to celebrate one of the worker's birthdays. Flor, who works in the laundry room, turned 18 this month. She wanted to do a kind of fruit cocktail with all of the workers to celebrate, and asked everyone to either bring a fruit or give some money. We had just bought a big pineapple at the store so we donated that to the mix (by the way pineapples are SO much cheaper here. Like $1.25. We have definitely taken advantage of that!). The workers here work SO hard. Long days, few breaks, and always with a bunch of kids. It was so wonderful to get to celebrate the life of one of the workers, and, what was even better, all the workers were able to take break for about 30 minutes to celebrate together. Nathan and I are aware that our ministry is not just to love the orphan, but anyone God brings into our path, including the workers here at Fundaninos. He's provided great opportunities for us to share truth with them, meet needs, pray with them, and work alongside of them.

Flor, the birthday girl, with some of the
delicious fruit cocktail.

Etelvina (baby house), Mariela (kitchen) and Rosadelia
(laundry room).

Etelvina, Rosadelia, who is also Flor's sister, and Flor.

Lastly, this week we had our Clausura, which is a basically a graduation ceremony. At the Clausura, each class is supposed to do an Acto, or a performance. The Clausura was really great. It was fun to see all the different performances which included lots of dances, several songs, and even a flute performance. My class did a dance. It didn't go so hot. First of all, remember, I have a range of 2-5 year olds in my class. When it was our turn to perform, two of my kids immediately started crying and didn't come up to the front. During the song, another two just stared dumbstruck at the crowd and started crying before the song was over. But what do you expect? They're so little! And it was still cute.

Four kids from my class also recited some Bible verses that we had memorized this year which included John 3:16, Matthew 22:37, John 1:1, and Luke 19:10.

Nathan's class did a hip hop performance. They all came over to the house before the Clausura for me to do their make up. Not to be biased, but their dance really was the best Acto. They practiced for hours every day and it really paid off. Their dance was to a Lecrea song called High from his new album.

It was great to celebrate the end of the school year. We're ready to be done with school. Teaching at Fundaninos has been a wonderful way for us to be tangibly helping the kids, getting to know them better, and improving in the language. But that doesn't mean it has been easy. We're looking forward to this break from school to rest and to prepare for the following year.

The next month has a lot in store for us. Next week a couple named Scott and Kari will be moving into the cabana and be living with us for the next four months. We have only heard amazing things about this couple and everyone at Fundaninos loves them, and we're sure we will too. We know that sharing a home will not be easy, but we know the Lord is going to grow us and teach us more about what it means to die to yourself, to love others, and to be hospitable. We will also be heading back to the states for about two and half weeks. We are SO pumped about getting to go back for a little bit. Resting, seeing family, worshiping at New Life, spending time with friends, eating good food. We need to be refreshed by community and by believers. We're ready for that.

I'm so thankful to the Lord that he has us here. It's not easy. I think I've had three or four crying break downs just in the last week, one of which was after I smashed my fingers under a chair cushion. I couldn't take it anymore. I went into the room and bawled. But it's worth it. I love that the Lord has given us this tangible way to care for the orphan in their distress. My appreciation for parents also has only grown since we've been here. I know there must be so many mom's and dad's who feel like they're not doing enough for the Kingdom of God. That providing for your family, taking care of your kids, and ministering to your community isn't all that special. Maybe some of you wish you could be doing something like what Nathan and I get to do, but instead your home taking care of your family. Can I tell you something? If every parent did what you are doing, we wouldn't have to be here. If every mom and dad put the importance on loving and taking care of their children like you do, or did for those of your whose children are out of the home, there would be no need for Fundaninos. Thank you to the mom's and dad's who are faithful to their children. Who love them day in and day out and keep the world from needing as many of us to go to work in orphanges. We're so grateful for you.

Enjoying friends

2010-10-22T15:18:00.000-04:00

Margarita looking like a youth gang leader

Danny, who has started running up to hug me everyday, looks like a horror movie doll in this pic

Getting to celebrate the baptisms of Rebekah and Gabriel Blanco

Rebekah and Kioka with Choco-banano's. We really love her and can see the Lord moving in her heart in an exciting way the past few weeks. Pray for the Lord to give her eyes to see Him and the truths of the gospel.

Two pictures with Mishell this morning. As I write this, I'm full of sadness and anger at the corruption of Guatemalan's government and the inability to adopt Mishel and her sister Andrea.

If there's one thing that has blown my mind at Fundaninos, it's the negative and unwilling heart to adopt and rejoice in others who adopt. We see that in Guatemala and we see that in the United States. I guess we're just sinners who are never prone to follow God as He is the most passionate adopter of all.

Common Guatemala

2010-10-20T21:50:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was...lots of things.
#New experience; #Fun; #common guatemalan; #Damaris; #cute pictures; #cheap corn nuts; #forgetting camera memory card; #Pentecostal clapping; #Red hands from clapping

I have no idea what the pound sign means...I saw some people doing it on fb, and so I hope you enjoyed my summarized day.

The woman that cleans the school is named Brenda. She and her daughter Damaris come to Fundaninos each day. They live about 20 min. away by car, and we've been looking forward to spending an afternoon with them. Anytime I get to be around the typical, common Guatemalans, I get excited. There's something special about being around people that don't have a lot of toys. Not only do they seem to ALWAYS be ridiculously hospitable, but they always have so much to teach me. Yesterday was a blessing.

Damaris is 8 years old, and, as I mentioned in my fb album, I originally, legitimately thought she might be an angel. She's so amazing and I wanted to share a few of the conversations that we've had.

meeting one: Damaris: (talking about not having much money): "in reality, I am far more blessed than the rich people, because many of them don't know God. It's better to know God than to have money."

Damaris: (talking about her scabs all over her body from a sun allergy): "It's ok, because God sees me as beautiful."

After catching her cheating on an English test, she was so cute as she bawled and quickly confessed her sin to her mom at the school.

[the rest are from yesterday] Damaris: "How did you come to know God Nathan?"
She's so intentional to center the conversation on the gospel-How God loves us and what He did for us!

(while sitting next to me on the couch): "I blushed the first time I saw Nathan...I loved his muscles!"

Anyways...Damaris is amazing and I had so much fun talking with her, taking picture of her and her younger sister, playing, watching tv, and walking around their area. I was able to get some good pictures and am hoping to print 3- 8" x 11" photos for their familiy when we come back to Texas. We are actually organizing the pictures that have been taken of every kid and worker at Fundaninos, and I am hoping that friends in Texas will be able to print out pictures for all the kids. If you want to help...let me know. If you don't have my email, it's Nathanforbes13@gmail.com.

We had a great time hanging out and then went to a church service with them from 7-9. It was very different and pretty awkward for a lot of reasons.

1. I wish we knew the songs, because they basically annihilated my ear drums for an hour straight with songs that I had never heard. I realized how a typical unbeliever or new believer would have no way of fitting in. How are our churches making services accessible to the unchurched? How are we organizing our lives so that unbelievers can comfortably join us in life?

2. I realized that Reformed, Complementarian, Missional churches are not the norm. I've been learning this for a while now, but it's been good to have many opportunities to notice a weakness in a church yet still love the people and desire to serve them. (Reformed, Complementarian, Missional)

3. Some people don't understand that having rock concerts five days a week WILL dominate your ears. This church meets together five times per week, and I'm not kidding, I couldn't hear myself clap as my hands were turning red from pounding them together.

4. Tasty Guatemalan food can sometimes bring about explosive diarrhea a second time in five days. I'm just thankful that I didn't have to endure it for 6 hours like last friday. I don't care if it becomes three times in a week, I refuse to turn down tasty church food without utensils.

Good links on community

2010-10-17T22:22:00.001-04:00

I wanted to share a few links on community. These would be incredible articles/blog posts to read and compare to the Bible.

These men aren't perfect and neither are their articles, but they express a heart for community that glorifies God and magnifies the gospel in a way that ought to be emulated.

Is this really how we should live in community?

http://theresurgence.com/2009/04/13/too-mature-for-community (Jonathan Dodson)

http://theresurgence.com/2009/01/29/the-church-a-gospel-centered-community-part-1 (Jonathan Dodson)

http://soma-missionalmusings.blogspot.com/2010/03/training-on-gospel-fluency.html (Jeff Vanderstelt)
Big Disagree: someone could possibly consider through this article that the Word of God is not central to community and living out the gospel. Big Agree: the beautiful picture of "gospeling" one another. Listening and speaking to one another with a gospel-centered mindset

http://timchester.wordpress.com/2010/07/26/bonhoeffer-on-the-way-confession-creates-community/
(Tim Chester reviewing Dietrich Bonhoeffer...read all the posts on "Life Together")
I'm dying to read "Life Together" after reading these quotes and reviews by Tim Chester

Rebekah calls posts that aren't centered on our time at Fundaninos my "boring blog posts", but I'm hopeful that someone will read, consider, and glorify God through a new passion for biblical community.

The Hiding Place pt.3 "Resting in God's Sovereignty"

2010-10-14T19:20:00.000-04:00

What does it mean that God is sovereign? Is it actually an important doctrine to understand? Martin Luther says, “This, therefore, is also essentially necessary and wholesome for Christians to know: That God foreknows nothing by contingency, but that He foresees, purposes, and does all things according to His immutable, eternal, and infallible will.” It is crazy in this world to believe in this type of sovereign God. What about sickness, disaster, hell, salvation, creation, death, and so much more? Yes, I also believe that God “foresees, purposes, and does all things according to His immutable, eternal, and infallible will.” As I write about Betsy Ten Boom’s incredible trust in God’s sovereignty, I wanted to first define what I believe the Bible teaches us about God’s sovereignty.

For those who believe that we worship an absolutely sovereign God…has your functional belief caught up to your theological belief? Your theological beliefs are in your theoretical head, but your functional beliefs transform your mind and heart. It’s so funny how quickly I may express my theological beliefs in God, but, as a sinner, I’m so slow to allow these beliefs to fully impact the way I act and believe about God.

To be honest, Betsy probably wouldn’t have given a perfect, orthodox answer if asked about God’s sovereignty. Without seminary, blogs, internet, and conferences, I’m sure her answer would not be polished and ready to be quoted. However, I don’t care what the most polished speaker says about God’s sovereignty if he doesn’t rest in God with the same fervor as Jesus sleeping in the boat on the rough seas. As Josh Harris says in Dug Down Deep, “It’s not enough that we simply know truth. God wants us to feel it, to believe it, and to apprehend it in the deepest, most personal way.”

The reason I loved reading about Betsy Ten Boom is seeing how her belief in God radically changed the way that she lived and thought throughout her life. She trusted that God was sovereign. She didn’t write any fancy books on God’s sovereignty, but as she moved through life, she sang about it, meditated on the Word that taught it, and encouraged others by it.

As she and Corrie arrived at a concentration camp, Betsy led a group in singing, “The night is dark, and I am far from home. Lead thou me on.” In worshipping God through song, we express our emotions to him. Betsy expressed childlike trust and hope in her all-sovereign God and encouraged others to do the same as she boldly worshipped God through song. Corrie didn’t hear Betsy worrying in sin, but, in worship, she heard Betsy worshipping God.

As Corrie and Betsy daily led a Bible study, they saw the promises of God as brighter and more beautiful while their situation grew worse and worse. In the book, Corrie writes how especially life-bringing to them was the text in Romans 8: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” They trusted that the God who created them and saved them would continue to love them and bring them to glory. Who cares if plans change, if people hate us, or if we die? God promises to always love us and forgive us in Christ! He’s already given us everything we need in Christ, so we can trust him to continue to give us what we need each day.

Finally, near the end of Betsy’s life, she was adamant that she and Corrie tell others of their deeper understanding that we are never out of the grip of God. She tells Corrie, “we must tell people what we have learned here. We must tell them that there is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still.” Not only does God know every person, but he is able to redeem any person if it accords to his “immutable, eternal, and infallible will.” There is no disaster that occurs outside of the unstoppable will of God, and in the midst of disaster, God is “deeper still” and able to save and redeem.

We worship a sovereign God. As we walk in that reality, we don’t need to worry about today or tomorrow. We don’t need to fear men who seek our lives. We don’t need to be anxious in the sickness of a loved one. When we worry in our anxiety we either doubt God’s sovereignty or his goodness. It is no small issue to disbelieve God as we are saved by a childlike trust in Him. May we reject the serious sins of worrying, anxiety, and fear and begin to rest in the wonderful truth that nothing can harm us outside of the perfect, unchangeable will of God.

Quick Weekend Update

2010-10-11T16:25:00.004-04:00

Enrique running the show

I'm hoping that Rebekah and I can be together and rest today. We had a long weekend, and I find myself needy to be reminded of the gospel and rest in its "light and easy" truths. It is just so incredible that we can rest in the fact that we are helpless sinners who can only claim that Jesus gave us his righteousness and bore our sinfulness. What amazing grace!

I ended up going to the funeral on Saturday which left Rebekah alone to watch the crazy boys. We ended driving about a total of 14 hours as we drove to Consuelo and Silvia's family's village located between San Marcos and Quezaltenango (In the southwest corner). The three hours we spent there and the fourteen hours of driving together were irreplaceable. I'm thankful to have forgotten my camera as I was able to enjoy, watch, and learn without a distracting camera. It is just so hard for us to truly understand that most of the world doesn't have money or any of the blessings and toys that people have in the western world. It's a joy to see completely different people groups and know that God loves those tribes as much as he loves mine.

Thanks to those who prayed for us this weekend. We both felt that the Lord provided grace for us to be able to watch, love, and be patient with the boys. He also gave us the grace to repent of our lack of love and patience as well!

I experienced a wonderful deepening of friendship with Enrique and the two girls. I hope that the Lord may use these fun times of joking around and talking about Jesus to further his kingdom in the lives of these sweet girls.

On Saturday, I also enjoyed...
-A random invitation to talk on a microphone at the funeral. Some guy basically was like, "Uhhhh, you! Come say a word."
-Enrique drinking/pouring water all over his face with every spring and river we came across in the village. We honestly didn't know anyone there and after splashing himself about four times at each river he'd shout out about how amazing it was to all of us watching.
-The girls cracking up as they contiually joked about me finding a tree, wall, or field to go to the bathroom...this was the joke of the trip as they didn't realize that American's could participate in this wonderful Guatemalan custom.
-Laughing as Enrique's short cut ended up looking like a BMX mountain bike course for an hour and a half...and yes I had to push the car with random Guatemalan's at one point and later do some car repairs in the middle of nowhere.
-Singing Stronger by Hillsong in English with the girls and teaching them about the lyrics.

We live about 45 minutes southeast of Guatemala city.

Consuelo and Silvia

2010-10-08T17:32:00.000-04:00

The other day I was talking with Ana, another teacher at Fundaninos, about our favorite grades to teach at the school and why. We had completely different ideas about which grades were hard to teach, but, without a doubt, my favorite grade has been primero basico (7th grade). I've loved it because it's the oldest grade and the smallest class. Stacy, Silvia, and Consuelo are fun to teach, and I've really missed Stacy as she's been resting for the past week after acquiring hepatitis b. Silvia and Consuelo are sisters (14 yrs and 17 yrs) and are hilarious. We've already taken exams and so we are only reviewing harder material for each grade level. We seem to always tell jokes or have good, deep discussions for at least a third of the class period now. We are actually doing fun "themed" days in my English class every few days in primero basico and yesterday was "joke day". We basically just told jokes and translated three of them. They want to sing a song in English for the next "theme". However, I was reminded today that these girls REALLY do have a different life. They might be smart, pretty, and funny, but that doesn't mean that they have a normal life. Both of their parents are heavy drinkers, and they both found out today that their mom just died. Neither of them wanted to go to the funeral tomorrow. I wanted to ask for you to pray for them during this time. I don't believe that these girls have genuine, saving faith, so please pray that the Lord would make alive the hearts of these girls. They are spiritually deaf and blind with no way of saving themselves...as they go through this strange time of grieving the death AND life of their mom, please pray that the Lord would show them their sin and need for Jesus.

Silvia and Consuelo with Steffany last week

Back to the boys house

2010-10-08T13:25:00.000-04:00

This weekend, Rebekah and I will be taking care of the boys by ourselves. We've helped with this task every two weekends since we arrived at Fundaninos, but we are finally doing it alone. Going into it, I think that we're both a little uneasy about having the energy to watch them and get up early with them, and I think we're also a little unsure how the boys will behave. Thankfully, we've watched the boys house more often recently because Margarita, the boys' caregiver, has been sick or has left Fundaninos on various errands about three times this past week. This will be a great opportunity for us to be content in all circumstances, to work hard as unto the Lord, and to love these boys even if they behave horribly. The directors will also probably be at a karate tournament with the caregiver for the girls, so hopefully we won't see too many broken bones like last time we were here alone.

Please pray specifically for the boys who can get extremely angry at times, Ivan and Edgar. None of the boys are perfect, but I've had to deal with tons of discipline problems with both of them over the past month. Pray that we will handle any of these situations with grace.

Hiding Place pt. 2 Loving your enemies

2010-10-06T17:13:00.000-04:00

In Matthew 9:36, a crowd of people gather to hear the teaching of Jesus and, “when he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” These weren’t good people. These were surely wicked people. These people were in service to the devil himself; yet, Jesus didn’t despise them for their sinful allegiance, but he saw harassment and loved them. These people also loved to sin. They loved it. They never did anything good just as we have a nature that never chooses what is right (Rom. 3:10-12). They didn’t love worshiping God; they had no desire for God. However, Jesus felt compassion, for he saw how utterly helpless these people were as they stood in bondage to sin.

In The Hiding Place, Corrie and Betsy had worked with and trusted many people in their ministry of hiding Jews. One day, while in a concentration camp, Corrie learned that a man named Jan Vogel, a supposed friend, had been the one who betrayed them. On learning the truth, Corrie was filled with hateful rage. It was no random chance that the Ten Boom family was sent to concentration camps; they were betrayed by a friend. About a week later, Corrie asks Betsy, “Don’t you feel anything about Jan Vogel? Doesn’t it bother you?” Betsy responded, “Oh yes, Corrie! Terribly! I’ve felt for him ever since I knew—and pray for him whenever his name comes to mind. How dreadfully he must be suffering!”

At Ravensbruck execution camp, there is a scene where a prisoner is beaten by a German guard for soiling her pants and Betsy confesses to Corrie that she prays for the day that she might have an opportunity to care for the victims of WWII and “show that love is better.” Corrie agreed with her in regards to caring for all the victims of the Nazi German’s but later realized that the victims Betsy was referring to were the Germans, the harassed and helpless persecutors. Betsy obviously did not view the world in the eyes of fairness, culture, or the flesh—she viewed the world as Christ viewed the world. Betsy’s love toward her German persecutors presents visible evidence that she gratefully understands that fairness in this world equals hell for everybody, but Jesus presents a better way. She understands that Jesus saw her, in her rebellion and sin, and “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb. 12:2). For the joy of glorifying himself through the salvation of helpless and harassed people, Jesus, the creator of the Universe, drank God’s cup of wrath, suffered abandonment, and was nailed to the cross for you and me. What would it look like if we were as passionate as Jesus about glorifying God through loving bad people?

Near the end of Betsy’s time at Ravensbruck, her body grew dreadfully sick and weak. Because of her lack of ability to shovel “more than a handful of dirt”, she was mocked and yelled at by the nearby German guards. Sick, tired, being forced to work as a slave, and being laughed at for my abilities…How would I respond? Betsy continued to have a heart of compassion for these “helpless and harassed” men as she joined the laughter and calmly told them “that’s all right…but you’d better let me totter along with my little spoonful, or I’ll have to stop altogether.”

Although our actions ought to back up our beliefs, the source of this God-glorifying life-style is not about radical actions. It’s all about radical thinking. The gospel doesn’t fit into our fair, cultural beliefs just as new wine isn’t put into old wine skins. The gospel has to change everything about the way we view our God, ourselves, and our neighbors.

Betsy was a sinner saved by grace and lived a life centered on grace. I’m tempted to think of her as an extreme Christian in the kingdom of God, but she’s not! She’s just doing what she is supposed to do…follow the example of our gracious God.

The Hiding Place

2010-10-04T21:24:00.000-04:00

I recently read Rebekah’s favorite book, The Hiding Place. Little did I know that this true story would be so exciting and so humbling to this prideful sinner. I’ve been encouraged, and I hope that hearing their story will encourage you too.

The Hiding Place is about the Ten Boom family and their journey in following God. In the first half of the novel, Corrie, the author, talks about how the family bravely helped Jews escape and hide from the Germans during WWII. After being arrested and imprisoned by the Nazi’s, the second half of the story focuses on Corrie and Betsy’s (her sister) time in various prisons and concentration camps. For anyone that reads this book, it will be quickly agreed upon that the thought processes and actions of Betsy Ten Boom are nearly impossible to believe. The amount of love she has for God and people often seem exaggerated. Unfortunately, the only reason I would ever think radical love is just an exaggeration is because not loving God with ALL of my heart and not loving my neighbor as myself has become commonplace in my life and the lives of many around me. Betsy’s example of trusting in the Gospel and the promises of God has caused me to re-look at the absolutely self-sacrificing calls of Jesus.

I’m going to post four blog entries over the next week highlighting actions and remarkable acts of faith by Betsy Ten Boom that we should seek to emulate, because Jesus made it clear that having radical beliefs and actions should be the norm of a follower of Christ.

What I’ve been challenged to ACTUALLY believe and plan to write about:

-Love your enemies

-Trust/Rest in God’s sovereignty

-Consider others more important than yourself

-Give thanks in all circumstances

What has challenged me the most is not that I need to start doing. What has challenged me most is noticing how little I actually BELIEVE that I ought to think and live in this way. My actions show my lack of belief in God’s greatness and his goodness. He loved me while I hated him, why can’t I extend the same love as I rest in his goodness to me?

I hope you’ll be encouraged and sharpened by the godly example of Betsy Ten Boom this week as she points to the one who has completed this radical righteousness on our behalf. I'm excited to see the Lord sanctify me in these radical ways, because, really, I'm completely dependent on Him to bring me there.

Meet Francis Chan

2010-10-02T00:22:00.000-04:00

Francis Chan is a blessing to me. He doesn't know me, but he REALLY believes the Bible. Here are two short clips that show some of his personality and convictions. He does pose great questions that we may, currently, be unable to answer yes to. He's hilarious, so enjoy the videos...but, for God's glory being more important than your glory, honestly consider what he says.

Are we really obeying Jesus and making disciples?

I Dare You to Pray This!

The Silent Holocaust

2010-09-29T13:19:00.002-04:00

Abortion... the silent holocaust.

Do I view it that way? Do I really see abortion in the same light as when millions of Jews died almost 100 years ago? When I hear stories, or see pictures from the Holocaust, they make me shutter. It was horrible. So many people... so much hate... so much death.

Do I feel that same way for the millions of babies that are dying right here in our very own country? Do I even care? The Lord says we are supposed to stand up against injustice and plead the cause of the oppressed. Am I doing that... at all?

I saw this video yesterday on someone's facebook page. I didn't even know what it was about but it looked interesting, so I pressed play. I sat in silence with tears in my eyes for the next 15 minutes. I was so stirred by the woman's story. Abortion survivor. Kind of an oxymoron, right?

May God stir my heart for the little ones yet unborn as much as he has for those who are now under my care.

‎"Abortion remains a moral issue of such huge consequence, our grandchildren will look back in a hundred years and condemn us...me--they will condemn me. 'Why didn't you do more?' Just like we look back now on all the complicit involvement with slavery." John Piper

The Two Month Mark

2010-09-28T15:24:00.004-04:00

Today we complete two months of being here at Fundaniños. Sometimes it feels like we’ve been here forever. We’re used to life here. We’re used to being around kids all day. We’re accustomed to things never happening the way we think they will: meetings starting an hour later, or maybe not even at all; weeping over kids that we think are leaving and then they end up coming back. Showing up for class only to find out that class has been cancelled. Black bean sandwiches at snack time (which I’m actually starting to enjoy). Thinking, speaking, breathing Spanish. This is Guatemala. We’re used to it. We love it.

And then sometimes it feels like the time is flying by so fast. We’re so aware that we only have 14 precious months with these kids. We’ve already finished two of them. I can’t tell you how many times I contemplate the day that we have to leave here and wonder how we’ll ever do it. I can’t imagine saying goodbye to these little ones I’ve come to love so much. I’m so grateful for the 12 months we have ahead.

Here’s a few things I feel like I’ve learned or that have changed in me in the past two months:

- I love adoption. I want to adopt. I hate the corruption of the Guatemalan government and that it prevents us from adopting kids here. If someone wrote down on a piece of paper the names of every kid in Fundaninos and put them in a hat, and told me to pick one and that we would be able to adopt that child, I would do it in a heartbeat. I just don’t think we will every realize how blessed we are to have parents… parents who love us… who don’t beat us… who tell us about Jesus. We are the minority. These kids, they are the majority. Especially here in Guatemala. I don’t know what the Lord has in the future for me and Nathan as far as adoption goes, but I know that our time at Fundaniños will impact us for the rest of our lives.

I'-’ve realized how works based my faith is. Since we’ve been in Guatemala, I’ve really struggled with condemnation about our work. I always feel like we’re not doing enough to help these kids; that we haven’t had enough gospel-centered conversations. When I’m helping in the boy’s house, I feel like I should be helping in the girl’s house. When I go to the girl’s house, I feel like I’m not doing enough to help the baby house. If I come in to the house to take a break during the day, I feel lazy and like I’m not making the most of our time. Many of you have been so good to remind me that we will NEVER be able to do enough good works to satisfy God’s demands. He demands perfection… 100% of the time. That’s why he sent Jesus to live that perfect life. To face every kind of temptation. To die in our place and to conquer death and rise from the dead. I have to remember that even if not one kid gets saved in our time here, and even if there is still so much work to be done when we leave… God STILL loves me. He will always love me.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?... No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Chris Jesus our Lord.

(Romans 8:35; 37-39)

Not even all my faults and failures can separate me from the love of God. God sees perfection in me because of Christ. We are more than conquerors.

- On a lighter note, another thing I’ve realized is that it’s SO STINKIN’ COLD HERE! I never imagined in a million years that Guatemala would be so frigid. Neither of us even brought a coat. There were kids wearing scarves and beanies to school today. I though we would be sweating in the sun every day. Instead we’re often inside because it’s raining, with blankets and slippers trying to stay warm. And it’s only supposed to get colder. We’re grateful that we’re coming home in November and that we’ll be able to get some of our winter clothes at that time. Boy do we need it!

I know that with each month that goes by, that Nathan and I will continue to learn more about ourselves, about our Heavenly Father, about adoption, about loving the orphan. This is such a unique time in our life. We’re so, so thankful. We’re also thankful to those of you who have sent us emails or facebook messages letting us know that you’re thinking of us and praying for us. We need that. We need your love and support as we often feel so far away and miss you all.

We’ll see what the next month has in store for us… I can’t wait.

16 goodbyes coming up

2010-09-26T20:06:00.000-04:00

After being here a few weeks, Enrique told me how difficult it would be to have to say goodbye to kids at Fundaninos. Most kids have only been here for about a year, and so you can imagine that there must be a frequent round of goodbyes and hellos. After being here two months, I can specifically give three reasons why these goodbyes are so sad.

1. We love these kids. We love spending time with them, laughing with them, and seeing them grow. As language barriers slowly come down, we love the conversations we have about the gospel as we labor and long to see the Lord call many of these cute, sinful kids out of darkness and into fellowship with the Son.

2. We pray for them and really do desire to see them walk with Jesus. We get excited about building relationships, because we know that quality time affords opportunities for these kids to see our joy in Christ and for us to share the good news about our Savior. We've looked ahead with excitement as we think about growing with these kids and sharing our lives with them. Unless the Lord wills differently, 16 of these dreams are about to become quiet prayer requests. It's so hard to let Him be in control when we forget that if he wasn't in control we would all get our way of continuing in bondage to sin.

3. God glorifies himself through wonderful families that point to the family of God. It's so beautiful to see glimpses of families operating the way that God intends with Mom's helping Dad's lead the family and children encouraging one another while submitting to parents. God created the family to be a beautiful, God-honoring institution. Unfortunately, the kids at Fundaninos are here because of abandonment or abuse. It's hard to see these kids fearfully preparing to return home. One of the six year old boys was recently at his court trial with his siblings. He spoke to the unmoved judge about his father who was present at the trial, "Mr. Judge, he used to beat me every day. I don't want to go be with him. I want to stay at Fundaninos." He's leaving Fundaninos for this scary home in about two weeks.

For those of you who know and love the kids at Fundaninos...here's a list of those that should be leaving in the next month.

-Isabella (already gone)
-Heidi
-Yadira
-Isaac
-Daniel
-Edgar
-Jorge
-Victor
-Jasmine
-Ivan
-Andrea
-Vanessa
-Evelyn
-Joselyn
-Leticia
-Kimberly

Of these kids there are physical scars and burns, memories of sexual abuse, and even a doctor who claimed that he had never seen someone beaten so severely. For a lot of these kids/moms, the dad or boyfriend is out of the picture or has mellowed his behaviors, so, in the eyes of the government, the home is now an acceptable place to live. Extreme poverty and emotional abuse does not seem to be a reason to have a child taken out of his home in Guatemala.

Pray for the corrupt government here. People from the United States cannot adopt from Guatemala, and this country can't handle the large number of poor, neglected orphans here. Just as we were illegitimate sons and daughters adopted into God's family, we hope to see many orphans adopted from Guatemala, Latin America, and the rest of the world. Please consider if your reasons for not adopting are of selfish, cultural reasons. Millions of kids would be happy to have too many siblings, elderly parents, or even live in what America calls poverty. I'm burdened by our often lack of care to obey the call to "make disciples" and to actively seek pure religion of "caring for orphans and widows." Are we doing what God commands or just knowing what he commands of us?

Refreshed by community

2010-09-21T21:55:00.000-04:00

From last Friday night to this past Sunday morning, we had the privilege to spend time with a group of believers from The Village Church in Dallas. Because our community is hours away in Texas, it was an incredible blessing to be encouraged and challenged by a group of believers that remind us of the blessings of living in community.

<---taken from Carrie's fb photo.

One major blessing that we experienced was getting the opportunity to hang out and worship with the group various nights this past week. Because I don’t feel that biblical community is just hanging out and having a bible study, I was excited and encouraged to see men and women confess sin, share concerns, laugh, share stories of God’s grace, sing, pray, and directly rebuke and encourage wrong thinking among other individuals in the group. We miss/want that so much!

I had a cool opportunity to explain to the kids why this group may be different than some other groups who visit Fundaninos. I explained to my kids in class that some church groups show outward signs of Christianity but do not truly love God. This allowed me to talk to them about the difference of following all the right Christian rules vs. having a born again heart that loves and delights in Jesus Christ. After this conversation, the kids continually saw this group working hard in various ways, watching groups of kids for the workers, and expressing love to the kids in any way possible. I loved feeling the freedom to talk with Peter, one of the team leaders, one morning and tell him that some of the guys on the team should go around and pick up all the horse poop. It was done, along with many other things, before the school day was over. We should just be able to tell our brothers to go pick up poop…it shouldn’t be weird because we love to submit to one another and serve one another.

The other part of the trip for this group was ministering at a drug and alcohol rehab center in Guatemala City. I was never able to go, but groups of 4-6 would go every day to sing, share testimony, and teach for about two hours. It was neat to hear how there was a great difference between the ex-drug dealers that now love Jesus and those who are just trying to clean up their lives. I’m sure my first reaction would be to doubt the salvation of the tattooed, wanted felon, but that just goes to show my poor views of grace and my forgetfulness that it isn’t the good guys in a culture that get saved; it’s whoever the Lord calls unto himself.

Finally, we spent the weekend with this group and with our friend Meredith Gilbert (from New Life). During the days, we had fun hanging out with Meredith, wandering around Antigua, and eating at awesome restaurants.

(Two pictures of us at McDonalds...thankfully Meredith didn't like her capuccino!)

(Out for a walk on Saturday)

(Lunch on Saturday and the homemade chips that came with Rebekah's nachos)

During the nights, we always ate dinner with the group and had coffee with various people from the Village group. This team was incredible blessing to us and paid for our hotel and dinners over the weekend. Thank you so much! We also got to experience the adventure of walking Meredith home at night. Antigua is the safest Guatemalan city, but when you have to walk down a scary dark alley with tons of stray dogs and slow moving zombie people, it gets scary. Thankfully, nobody there knows that Meredith’s host family doesn’t lock the doors to the house.

It was sad to see them leave on Sunday, and it was sad to have to wake up at 3:30 to take them to the airport. But we are so encouraged to have been around a group of people who are changed by the grace of God and feel the same burden as us, that we are called to love God, love people, and make disciples.

Summarizing the past week

2010-09-15T00:09:00.006-04:00

Incredible.

Rebekah and I are both hoping to post soon about things going on, but I thought I'd give a summary of the past few days for me.

-The power went out for about five hours one evening/night. We ate spaghetti in complete darkness but were able to bless some workers in the kitchen and baby house with our flashlights. It was fun getting to celebrate the power coming back on. I wonder what Christians in the past would think of my annoyance of not having electricity for five short hours...I think I'm very used to getting what I want when I want it. I don't want the mindset of "I deserve electicity, food, nice people, and a safe neighborhood." I hope that I may look more like Paul as he says in Philippians 4:11-13: "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

-A group from the Village Church in Dallas, TX ended up staying here at Fundaninos, and they have been an absolute blessing from the Lord. It is a joy to talk, pray, sing, and work alongside people who love Jesus. The Lord has used them mightily in our lives this week.

-On Saturday, while the directors were gone at the kids karate tournament, a girl named Maribel badly sprained her ankle. About 20 kids were at the tournament, so it had already been an interesting day watching all the kids with random Guatemalan groups showing up at various times. Some of the workers thought that we needed to drop her off at the fire station.Evidently, they would have brought her to the hospital for us, but I'm glad we waited a little bit longer for the Cazali's to return and make the decisions about where to take Maribel. I'm just not used to the idea of bringing a 15 year old girl to a random Guatemalan fire station. Enrique had to have another long night at the hospital, but I'm glad that she was safe and is now recovering well.

-Meredith Gilbert stayed the weekend with us at Fundaninos. She is also a member of New Life in College Station, TX and is working abroad for CAM International this semester. Just like the group from The Village Church, she was so encouraging and refreshing to be around as her words and actions were saturated with a love for Jesus. Unfortunately, she acquired some amoeba and virus from a meal she ate last friday, and we quickly learned that fainting was a symptom of this virus. I got the honor to carry her to the couch two different times that she fainted. I was so encouraged by her unusually calm spirit during this crazy weekend and reminded to not be anxious about anything, but in everything, in prayer and thanksgiving, we should present our requests to God, and he will grant us peace that transcends all understanding. (Phil. 4:6)

-I've gotten to have fruitful conversations the past three days and am now reminded that I need to be praying for more opportunities and for the Lord to change hearts. I stayed home with the three youngest boys during the church service on Sunday, and we talked about our creator God who wants a relationship with us but can't because our sin separates us from God. My favorite part was when I described God as light (compared to our darkened hearts) and one of the boys said, "Like Victor?" Victor has about the same skin color as me...It also ended by one of the boys raising his hand and asking, "Can we go play?"

Yesterday, through random events, I spent three class periods in a row with a 14 year old girl. We had conversations about lukewarm, outward-action-only Christianity to modesty and a few other topics. This was especially encouraging to me as my desire as a teacher to often have gospel-centered conversations with students or the entire class about our Great God, man's helpless estate before him, and our amazing Savior who drank the cup of God's wrath that we should've drank.

Today I was able to discipline Fatima, one of my fourth grade students and have a good talk with her after class about when we should talk and laugh and be crazy and when we should listen and learn. I also reacted wrongly to a girl (Katty) who was being mean to a girl named Mishell in the class. Mishell is often picked on in the class and I asked Katty "why she had to be mean all the time" in front of the class. After school I apologized to her for my rude tone and for saying that in front of the class. I also talked to her about how one obvious result of being saved is that we have love for one another. Katty is very different from Mishell, but if she truly is born again, the Holy Spirit will give her a desire to love her neighbor and sisters in Christ.

-Independence day is tomorrow, September 15th. Tonight the school hosted a celebration that involved typical Guatemalan food, decorations, and presentations from all the classes on important Guatemalan symbols. I am with the 4th and 6th grade girls every afternoon during their homework period, and they did a great job creating a giant Marimba out of paper last week and explaining its importance tonight during the celebration.

-We also have been blessed by family and friends with plane tickets home for two weeks in November! The Lord has helped us to not only be content but love our work and opportunities at Fundaninos; however, we are so excited to see family and friends in Texas.

-Mateo and Flor were supposedly being adopted by their grandparents today. We prayed for them individually and with the Village group. It was sad saying goodnight and goodbye, and we prayed that the Lord would pursue them and captivate their hearts with the gospel. It seems that the Lord desires to reach them through Fundaninos, because things didn't go so well at court today, and they are back at Fundaninos! We understand that kids are going to have to leave at various times, but it was so sad when we thought we would never see these two again.

It's amazing how many more things I could write about the past four days...

Meet my class!

2010-09-06T14:56:00.012-04:00

As many of you know, I am teaching a preschool class here at Fundaninos. I'm not going to lie, when I first started teaching, I almost hated it. I was still just barely getting my feet wet with the language, and I had eight 2-5 year old kids running around, screaming, telling me things with weird Spanish speech impediments that I could never understand... it was overwhelming. But now, I really am starting to love it. Once I realized that I don't have to be perfect but just work as unto the Lord it became so much easier. My kids are still a handful, but such a joy. It's so much fun to see them progressing from not being able to color in the lines, to carefully coloring each page. From not being able to count, to screaming out the numbers with me as we count to 10.

This past Friday, we painted our hands and put them on paper. I thought you might enjoy meeting my kids through their pictures.

This is Sandra whom we call Sandrita. She is three years old, and therefore one of the youngest in my class. If there was any child I might possibly label as ADHD, it would be Sandra. I can hold up a crayon in front of her and say,"Sandrita, this crayon is yellow... What color is this crayon Sandra?" She'll look at me with a semi-crazy face and then say, "NADA!" (Nothing in Spanish). No Sandra, incorrect. Despite her craziness, she is a bundle of pure joy. Sandra has so much personality, and she's always saying random, crazy things. For instance, she'll run up to me and say, "I take a bath with HOT WATER!" (in Spanish of course) and then run off. Sandra is available for adoption and currently has a family in the United States who is trying to adopt her. We should actually know within the next month whether she will be going to be with this family or not.I think Andrea is five years old, not exactly sure. She is an identical twin. I mean, identical. Now after being here a month and a half, I can pretty much tell her and her sister apart, but I definitely still confuse their names on almost a daily basis. Andrea is extremely bright. I always have trouble with her answering the questions when I ask other students. Andrea and her sister are available for adoption.Mishel is obviously Andrea's identical twin sister. She is also very bright and intelligent and probably my top student. Mishel is very affectionate and always calls me over in the middle of class just so she can give me kisses on my cheek. Mishel and Andrea both love to please. When they are disciplined, they'll cry not because their mad at you but because they're sad they dissappointed you. Mishel and Andrea are also very loving sisters. You'll often see them walking around holding hands, giving each other big hugs and kisses, and laughing. They also love Nathan and always want to be sitting with him and talking to him.

Victor is 4 years old. He lives here at Fundaninos with his mom, Alicia, who is 18. Victor is an interesting kid here because he's one of the only kids who really doesn't have a specific worker who is in charge of taking care of him, his mom does that. But his mom also works in the kitchen here, so you'll often see Victor just running around Fundaninos by himself, playing outside with no one around, which normally isn't allowed. He's also the only boy who lives in the girls house. He sleeps with his mom every night. Victor has a pretty bad speech impediment and often doesn't speak in complete sentences. It's pretty hilarious. He also asks me every day, "Hoy tenemos escuela? (Do we have school today?). I'll respond with one of three responses 1. "Si." 2."No, ya hemos tenido escuela hoy. (No, we've already had school today.)" or 3. "No, porque estamos en el fin de semana (No Victor, it's the weekend)". It's fun having the same conversation every day. I laugh every time.

Roberto is 5 years old. Roberto is smart, but a trouble maker. I have a really hard time keep him busy during the day. He is often the first one done with his work and if I don't immediately give him something to do, I'll turn around and he'll be sitting in another chair, poking some kid in the face, or laying on top of the table about to fall off. Roberto is also extremely cuddly and sweet. He loves to tell me "Rebekah, tu eres bonita (Rebekah, you are pretty)". One of my favorite things is whenever we go into the boys house and the boys are watching a movie. I'll sit down on the couch and Roberto will immediately get up and run into his bedroom, grab his teddy bear, and then come and sit in my lap. It's so easy to love on Roberto. I'm pretty sure Roberto is not available for adoption as his mother comes once a month on visitation day to visit him.

Mateo is 3 years old and, as you can tell from his pictures, is absolutely precious. Mateo has the cutest laugh at Fundaninos. He's so expressive with his face and loves to show you how overjoyed he is, or how extremely depressed he is. Although Mateo is only three, he is one of my top students and I'm hoping he will go ahead and pass on to the next grade level the following year. Mateo has a sister here named Flor who is one of the Pekas. I'm not sure what their adoption situation is.

Chino is two, that's right, TWO years old and is my youngest student. Fortunately, Chino is really bright and doesn't have much trouble keeping up with the class. Chino is extra super cuddly which I extra super love. Lots of times he'll just sit in my lap and rub my arms... Guatemalan people aren't very hairy so I think he enjoys feeling my arm hair. You can imagine how it is when he does it with Nathan! Chino is currently available for adoption and the Freed family, who we've spoken of many times here, is trying to adopt him. Unfortunately they've met so many barriers with the Guatemalan government that the chance of it going through is looking pretty bleek. But I know they are continuing to ask the Lord to open doors for them and make his adoption possible.

Last, but certainly not least, we have Angel, more commonly known as Angelito. This picture was actually taken after class because Angel had pooped his pants while we were painting our hands and had to be taken out to be changed. :) Don't worry, that's only the second time that's happened. Angel is three years old, but you would never know it by looking at him. He's the same size as one of the other boys here who's not even two years old yet. Angel has some kind of birth defect where he does not receive enough growth hormone to fuel his growth. He only weighs a little over 20 pounds! This past week, Angel was cleared by his doctors to begin receiving growth hormone injections. I was lucky enough to be chosen as one of three people who would be giving Angel his shot every night. It's probably my least favorite part of the day. But I know that it is what's best for Angel and I also know that if Angel had not come to Fundaninos, he would never have been able to receive medical treatment like this. What a blessing. Angel is available for adoption and the Freed family is currently trying to adopt him along with Chino.

Well I hope you enjoyed getting to meet the little ones I get to work with every day. They are such a joy to me. I just pray that our class would be so much more than just learning information and facts about the world, but a time where they get to learn more about a Father who loves them and created them, and about his son Jesus who died in their place.

Sex Trafficking: Do we care?

2010-09-04T15:20:00.002-04:00

We had a great night with our friend Ana last night with a good dinner of pizza, lots of conversation and laughter, and a movie. Ana is the daughter of Carol and Enrique and teaches with me in the school. She has been a really great friend to us, and we always look forward to the times that we get to hang out with her. It was cool to hear how, although she has heard the gospel her whole life, she didn’t desire to have faith in Christ and enter into a relationship with him until this past February. I look forward to get to know her better in the months to come and to see how the Lord may use us to encourage and bless her.

The movie we watched is called Taken. It was incredible. It had Liam Neeson outsmarting and beating up bad guys and was filled with suspense. What was even more interesting/heartbreaking was that this movie portrays a very quiet subject, human sex trafficking. Liam Neeson ends up killing about 40 people to save his daughter from the sex trade, and it’s so beautiful to see his daughter rescued and seeing her no longer oppressed by sinful men. However, most little girls don’t have an ex-spy for a dad, and, unfortunately, many little girls actually have dads that sell them into this slavery. This reality is so heartbreaking and overwhelming that most of us either deny the horrific stats, or we spend a season feeling burdened and then move on. I don’t know how I can best glorify God by seeking out justice for these oppressed women, but I don’t want to move on. These women are made in the image of God, are being oppressed, and need to know about the one perfect man who liberates us from all oppression.

Here’s a few verses that come to mind when thinking about how we are called to bring justice to the oppressed.

Isaiah 58: A true fast before the Lord is not just a day for a person to humble himself but is “to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke. It is to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?”

Psalms 82:3-4: Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”

Isaiah 1:10-17: “I have had enough of burnt offerings…your appointed feasts my soul hates…even though you make many prayers, I will not listen…cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.”

Psalm 119:134 (Prayer of the righteous oppressed): Redeem me from man’s oppression, that I may keep your precepts.”

Ecclesiastes 4:1: “Again I saw all the oppressions that are done under the sun. And behold, the tears of the oppressed, and they had no one to comfort them! On the side of their oppressors there was power, and there was no one to comfort them.”

Matthew 25: 31-46: (Sheep and the goats): sheep fed the hungry, supplied the thirsty, welcomed the stranger, clothed the naked, and visited those in prison.

A few organizations that are serving Christ to bring justice to the oppressed:

http://www.hopechest.org/

http://www.compassion.com/

http://www.ijm.org/

What are some other verses that could add to our understanding on how we ought to care for the oppressed? What are some good organizations that we can give to, or what are some fruitful ways that we can get involved in caring for these throughout the world.

Becoming a school teacher

2010-09-03T15:56:00.011-04:00

Some of you may have known that I quit a teaching program in May in order to come to Guatemala. During that time, I felt completely unprepared for the daunting task of teaching a group of high school students in a local school. What I didn't know is that I would end up teaching two classes in a different language after living in Guatemala for only two weeks. It has been quite the crash course, and I've really enjoyed it. I just thought I would share a few things that I've liked about teaching thus far, some areas that I NEED to grow in, and some goals that I have for my time teaching in Guatemala.

Things I've liked:
-seeing kids understand concepts that they had no idea about the day before. God gave us minds to comprehend and understand abstract truths that he created (like math), and it's been fun watching kids learn and apply what they learn.
-my English class: A few times a week I get to have the upper hand in language proficiency! Nearly every student wants to learn English, so I feel like it is also building my relationships with many of the kids as they desire to learn or practice their English.
-language learning: I don't think you get a better immersion experience than teaching a class, answering questions, and hanging out with the other teachers at various times. This has really helped me learn Spanish. The only problem is that I still am unsure about what I'm supposed to do for our independence day celebration in two weeks...I'm pretty sure that I'm supposed to draw a giant map of Guatemala for us to make a collage and I'm going to help my tutoring class make a presentation on the Declaration of Independence and the national flower.

Areas I need to grow in:
-Organization/preparation: I have no curriculum for my English class, so the rest of the year and next year will allow me to create my curriculum and follow it in an organized fashion. The only problem is that I'm currently pretty random and unorganized as I'm trying to figure out what they know.
-Discipline: Currently, I can warn students, move desks, send them out and talk to them in the hall, and then, if it has to come down to it...tell Tia Carol or Tio Quique (Aunt Carol or Uncle Enrique) about the discipline problem. I've never seen kids love and fear someone more than Enrique. It's so funny, because he's one of the funniest guys I've ever met, yet I only see him crack a smile every few days.
-Spanish fluency: I basically have no idea what kids say to each other because of slang. I'm hoping to get passed the point where someone needs to speak clearly in my direction for me to fully comprehend.

Goals to reach by the end of next year:
-Have a relationship with the kids of mutual respect and enjoyment which should help to set a Godly example and should enable me to more effectively teach them in class.
-Completely fluent as a teacher: If we decide to stay in the United States after our time in Guatemala, the opportunities to teach for bi-lingual teachers in Texas are available in nearly every school district.
-Create and implement curriculum and organize it so that it could be used after I leave here at Fundaninos.

(picture taken in April of the students and faculty. The two teachers in the top left are the ones who left a few weeks ago)

The Adoption Situation in Guatemala

2010-08-29T22:04:00.001-04:00

Before we came to Guatemala, we knew that Americans were not allowed to adopt from Guatemala, but we had no idea why. Since we've been here, we've been able to talk to the directors of Fundaninos and families who are trying to adopt to get scoop on adoption here... or the lack of adoptions we should say.

About two years ago, Guatemala closed it's borders to adoption. It was discovered that children were being sold as slaves and into the sex trade through the adoption system. Women would be paid to get pregnant and then sell their children to be sold as slaves. Guatemala said that until they could fix the corruption of their adoption system, that they would no longer allow international adoptions.

Families who had applied for adoption before the laws were changed were grandfathered in and will still be allowed to adopt the child they were pursuing... if they can jump through the hoops the government has created. Even those who still have the possibility to adopt meet so many barriers, so many hardships, and almost all of them have to do with the corruption of the government. We've heard stories of families who have filed for adoption, paid all the fees, picked their child, and then find out that their Guatemalan lawyer gave them only fraudulent papers and stole all their money... they have to start all over again. There's one child here who's adoptive family in the U.S. has been trying for five years to bring their daughter home... and right now it's not looking very hopeful that they'll be successful. If not, this five year old little girl will be placed into a permanent children's home and no longer be up for adoption. She will live there until she's 18 and grows out of the adoption system.

This is also the case for one of the pekas, we'll call her "Joy". This week Joy had her "audiencia" (court date) in her home district which was about five hours away. Her and Enrique left Fundaninos at 5:00 AM and didn't get home till 10:30 that night... quite a long day for a three year old. Joy has a family in the states who had applied to adopt her but found out their papers were fraudulent and had to reapply. Within that time her birth mother claimed that she wanted Joy back. The birth parents were summoned to the court date on Wednesday and the judge was to decide whether Joy would go with her birth parents or with the adoptive family in the states... the birth parents never showed. Because of this, they had to reassign the court day to September where they will then make the final decision. We've been praying that the Lord would send her with the family that will love her, protect her, and tell her about Jesus.

There is a way to adopt as a non-Guatemalan. Once you come to Guatemala and have a permanent residence, you can apply for residency in the country. There is no required time of living here before becoming a resident. It sounds simple but to become a resident you have to go through the government, and nothing is simple when you have to go through the government. Some good friends of ours were applying to becoming residents and after I think a year of working to get all the paperwork completed and sent in, they were told the government "lost" all their paperwork... it was gone. They had to start all over. I think after about a year and a half or almost two years they were finally able to become residents.

After becoming a resident, you can file for adoption, but you are not allowed to choose a child, the government will choose for you. After the government chooses the child, the child will be placed in your home, but you cannot take them back with you to the states at that time. Once the child has been officially adopted, you must continue to live in Guatemala for another two years before you can return home to the States.

Is adoption possible in Guatemala... yes. Is it insanely hard... yes. Adoptions have slowed down tremendously since the laws changed, even domestically. These children really just do not have much chance of ever being adopted. So many of the children here at Fundaninos are 8 and older... so many of them have already grown out of the age where it is statistically likely for them to be adopted.

I was talking to one of the girls here who is 17, asking her about her plans for after Fundaninos. She told me she would really like to go to college and study Psychology. Who will pay for her college? She's never had a job. Where will she live during the summer break? She'll have no family to go home to. Who will she celebrate the holidays with? Will she come here to Fundaninos to the only family she knows? I don't know the answer to those questions, and I doubt she does either.

The challenges seem insurmountable here, but we have to keep reminding ourselves that we serve a really big God, who's places rulers, and kings, and principalities in their place, and is never hindered from accomplishing his purposes by them. We've been praying for the adoptions situation to change here. Praying for families who trying to adopt, that God would make their paths straight. Praying for children here who are waiting to be adopted, that the Lord would move mountains. Will you pray with us? Will you pray for Joy that God would make a way for her to have a family? Will you pray for the government, that corruption would be ended and that justice would be brought to the fatherless? Guatemala needs the prayers of God's people. We do too.

On a light note, I thought I would add a little video for y'all to enjoy. In my preschool class, we are going through a booklet called Truth and Grace. It's a book that they use at our church, New Life, that has scripture memory and catechism questions for kids. The first week's scripture is Genesis 1:1. In Spanish it reads, "En el principio, Dios creo los cielos y la tierra". Here's a video of Roberto, one of my star students, saying his memory verse.

A Small Sence of Normalcy

2010-08-24T22:06:00.002-04:00

Our responsibilities and schedules are starting to feel normal. We’ve moved out of a small room in the boys house to a cabin about fifty feet away with about fifty times the privacy. It still feels strange to wake up without hearing Juan crying for 20 minutes and others talking to one another at the top of their lungs in our old concrete, echoey room. The workers who watch the boys are so incredible, but for the sake of our marriage and sanity, we are pleased to be living in “the cabana”. Rebekah teaches until noon now, and afterward has the freedom to get to know some of the other girls here and help at the babies house from time to time. She’s been teaching her pre-k students a new verse and question each week from the Truth and Grace booklet, and it’s been so cool to see the kids memorize scripture and truth about God. My new place of normal feels so awkward and daily humbles me, as I am teaching English and Math in the school. It’s been incredible to see the Lord open up this door for me to learn Spanish, teaching methods, and humility all in one tasty treat. That vocabulary is for anyone who has lived with me or backpacked with me over the past four years…

I’ve never been faced more with the truth that I have a heart that doesn’t desire Christ, while, at the same time, see how Christ is drawing me to himself through regeneration and daily sanctifying my wayward heart. Some of the things I’ve noticed are my impatience, complaining heart, desire to rest in the world rather than Christ, and selfishness. I don’t make a long list for any other reason besides the fact that I’m amazed how often we get in comfortable grooves and are blinded by so many basic rebellions against the Lord. Thank you for praying for us, as I’m confident that the Lord has used it to expose these to me and to change me, and I hope that you will continue to be faithful to us in this way. I’m sure it’s been obvious that we haven’t daily jumped up and down for joy over the fact that we are living here. But besides the fact that we love the people here and want them to encounter Jesus, I’m so glad that we’re here.

2010-08-22T11:19:00.005-04:00

Well, this is Nathan and my second time off since we've been here at Fundaninos, and it came at at good time. Our off schedule works like this: one weekend we are off, the next weekend we stay in the boy's house and help watch them.

Not only is this an off weekend for us, but it's also our first weekend in the cabana. When we first came to Fundaninos, we were staying in a room in the boy's house. You can imagine what it's like to share a house with 13 boys, ages 4-12... running, screaming, kicking, crying, and all starting at 5:00 in the morning since that's what time the boys get up. Pretty nuts. Also, our door couldn't lock. There was one day when the boys were playing and one boy ran into our door and accidentally burst it open. Fortunately I was standing there fully clothed so I didn't have to scream in terror when I saw him.

The cabana is the house the directors used to live in. About a month ago, an organization called Orphan Resource International built the Cazali family a new apartment on top of the baby house, so that they could use the cabana for volunteer space... and boy are we grateful. We really do feel secluded here, it's quiet, and we can really rest. We even have a kitchen so I'm hoping that sometime this week I'll be able to make it out to Hiper Paiz (the grocery store) and buy a few items to have around here. That will come in handy on the nights we have bread and black bean paste for dinner. I will try and post some pictures soon of our new place.

Unfortunately, this hasn't been the best of off weekends. On Friday, we got off at 4:30, so we talked to the directors daughters about going out to eat and watching a movie. We were going to leave at 7:30. By about 6:45, I was not feeling so well. There have been several times since we've been here where my stomach has felt a little uneasy, but I have really had no problems. We are well fed and well taken care of here at Fundaninos, and the cooks do a great job. On Friday, however, we had a group of high school students come and do an activity with the kids, and they also brought the refaccion (snack) for the day. It was ham and cheese sandwiches (with some kind of ketchup, mayonnaise mix), nachos, and a piece of cake.

Anyways, by the time 7:30 rolled around, I was feeling pretty bad. But when you haven't been out in a week, and you're not going to have another off time for 15 days, you don't turn down getting out too easily. So I thought I'd try and stick it out... bad idea. By the time we were about 20 minutes away from Fundaninos, I told Nathan I just didn't think I could go. The directors were just going to be dropping us off, so I tried to let just Nathan go with our friends and I could go back with Enrique and Carolina, but Carol and Ana said that they would just get take out and we would all go back.

The whole time we were in the car I was thinking, "Please Lord, just let me make it back to Fundaninos before throwing up. Please... PLEASE.." but since the Lord always knows what best for us, and since he knew I needed to get that nasty food out of my stomach immediately, he told my stomach not to wait. Carolina had given me a plastic bag to use just in case I needed to throw up in the car. Unfortunately, this plastic bag wasn't very strong, and the projectile force of my vomit broke it... it was every where, including on my feet. Not my best moment.

I did feel loads better after throwing up. I pretty much spent all Saturday morning in bed, but by lunch time, I was feeling much better, and last night we were able to go out with Ana.

Unfortunately, Nathan is now having his turn with the sickness. He hasn't thrown up yet, but he's feeling nauseous and actually feels like he may have a fever. This means that we're not going to church this morning, which is especially sad. We really look forward to it every week. And this week we were supposed to be going to lunch at Jose and Rebecca Blanco's, which is actually a couple who lived in College Station for 6 months and went to our church, New Life. We love them so much and were really looking forward to getting caught up with them. Hopefully we'll be able to reschedule for the next off weekend.

Please be praying that we would both fully recover and be ready to work with the kids tomorrow. We haven't gotten to write about it yet, but Nathan is actually starting his job teaching English and Math in the school tomorrow! This is going to be quite a load and Nathan will need to be feeling better and ready to take on this challenge.

Also, please pray for contentment. When you don't get time off too often, it's hard when your off time is spent being sick. Pray that we would go into this week with joy and satisfaction in the Lord, not in our circumstances.

Together 4 Adoption Conference

2010-08-20T17:08:00.003-04:00

My aim in posting this is that:

-someone who reads this blog my go to the conference
-someone may check out some resources on this website
-someone may begin considering the importance of adoption

For that special someone, I hope that:
-you will change your theology on adoption
-you will seek to bless those who adopt and those adopted
-you will love the fact that we adopted by God
-you will adopt...even you empty nesters

Austin, TX
current fee: $69 (until August 31st)
I think there are group rates available

2010-08-15T23:45:00.001-04:00

Out of the mouth the heart speaks. As the Lord has shown me, I have a complaining heart that often times does not trust God. It is so humbling to recognize how readily my heart is prone to sin. When I complain and worry about my situation, I reject the idea that we have a sovereign God who works all things for my good and who loves me completely as an adopted son. I am a totally depraved person before the Lord, yet he loves me unconditionally, by his unmerited favor. I’m amazed by the amazing grace of God. I deserve hell just as much as the parents of the kids here, the corrupt Guatemalan government officials, and the reader of this blog, yet he has chosen to save me and love me!

Please pray for me to have a heart that lives in light of the fact that I’m a sinner who has been made a saint by the work of Christ. Pray that I would desire to be faithful every day in my work for the Lord, rather than complain or worry about things not meeting my expectations for the day.

The Resurgence

2010-08-13T23:03:00.002-04:00

It's been a wonderful day. Rebekah and I seem to be gaining a better handle on school each morning, we had a great meeting with the directors, and now we've had a fun, restful evening. We watched two episodes of 24, listened to rats have a party on our roof, waited for the rats to fall through the roof, and now are having a time to read and rest. One thing I have missed in Guatemala is having any time during the day to read any blogs. I just had the quick opportunity to read a few blog entries on The Resurgence and it was such a blessing. It's so cool that there are many God-Centered resources which offer good reminders and challenging truths in short, readable entries. I'm so blessed to have just read about Justification by Theology and Cultivating a Gospel-Centered Marriage.

Does anyone know of any good Spanish blogs?

Mailing Address

2010-08-13T17:56:00.002-04:00

2a. Avenida 11-09, Zona 9 Of. 201
Ciudad de Guatemala

Two Weeks Down!

2010-08-12T19:17:00.001-04:00

Well we’re on our third week here at Fundaninos, and it feels quite a bit longer than that. It’s hard to imagine being here for fifteen months sometimes, but we’ve already seen how the time is going to fly by.

God has taught us so many things about our selfishness, conflict resolution, future after Fundaninos, family, contentment and much more as we’ve been here. Each day has been hard, and I think this first month is going to look a lot different than the rest of our time here. Currently, we teach together from 7:45-12:00 then watch the Pekas together until 4:30. If the girls (ages 12 and 14) are unable to take over after us, we may end up watching them until their bedtime at 8:00. We have loved getting to know the Pekas and the girls who also watch them. However, we’ve come to realize that because our purpose here is discipleship among all ages and language learning (besides the vocab of a 6 year old), something needs to change. Our hope is that we’ll be able to spend afternoons helping various workers, hanging out with the kids, and planning activities and bible studies to do with different groups of kids here. We should be talking about all of this tomorrow with the directors; we would love for you to pray for the Lord to give us humble hearts that desire to see the Lord glorified.

We’re slowly gaining on the language each day. I love it when I can understand enough of the conversation to participate! It’s so awkward to have no clue what somebody just said to you, and then still have no idea the second time around. Whenever I am in a non-English speaking country like this, I am reminded of the ministry we can have to international students and other non-English speakers. It’s such a blessing to have a slow conversation in a quiet environment. Will you consider blessing a language learner in your city by teaching him English and telling him about Jesus over regular meals?

Thanks for the messages here, on facebook, on skype, and through email. We love reading them!

1 week down!

2010-08-04T20:46:00.002-04:00

Hey guys. Sorry we haven't written in the past couple of days. Things have been amazingly busy. Essentially Nathan and I start our work day at 6:30 AM and don't usually end till 6:30 PM, with many days being later than that. Needless to say, we're usually exhausted by the end of the night and are just wanting to spend sometime together.

Yesterday I started my first day of teaching the preschool class. Today and yesterday they've actually had tests which the prior teacher had made up for them. After tomorrow, we'll be back to regular school work. I have 8 students in my class and after two days, I now have a new appreciation for teachers. You people... are amazing. How do you do it? Is there a magic pill you give your children that makes them not run around like drug-crazed lunatics? If there is, please let me know. Nathan has been able to help me both mornings which has been a blessing beyond belief. He is what I call "the enforcer". If a kid disobeys, Nathan makes them go sit in the corner, and then apologize for what they've done. It's actually been really neat to see how after a week of consistently disciplining the kids that they're actually starting to obey.

I do want to be honest in saying that things have also been pretty hard at times. I'm beginning to learn in a whole new way what it means to find your joy solely in Christ, to see that it is ONLY through his strength that you can make it through the day. There have been times that I've come into our room at the boys house, almost hiding, and thinking to myself, "Can I really do this for over a year?" "Am I going to be able to make it?" But every time I ask these questions, the Lord has consistently answered with "Rebekah, I am faithful. When you are weak, that's when I am strong. If I am your foundation, you will not crumble when the storms come."

A lot of the time, God comforts me through Nathan. Our gracious Father continues to show me more and more what an amazing, gracious, servant-hearted, faithful, loving husband I have. Whenever Nathan sees me getting overwhelmed with disobedient children, he immediately steps in and takes care of the situation. He allows me to take breaks and will watch the kids all by himself so that I can catch my breath. He takes time during the day to remind me that he loves me. I couldn't do it without Nathan. When my trust in the Lord begins to falter, Nathan consistently brings me back to the cross. If the Lord can wash us clean from all of our sins and give us new life, then he is able to preserve us in what he has called us to. He is so good.

It's been hard as I've gotten to know the children more and begin to learn there stories of why they're here at Fundaninos. Today, while I was working with the the Pekas, I had to give one of the girls a bath before she went to her karate lesson (about 15 kids here go to karate 2-3 times a week... and they're amazing). When she took off her clothes, I saw that she had a big, ugly scar that covered the side of her right thigh and hip. When I asked her what happened, she said that there was a man who used to watch her and her siblings (she has 3 siblings with her at Fundaninos). She said this man always used to get really mad, and beat them all the time. One day when she was with her brothers and sisters, he got really mad at her and burned her. That's what the scar was from. She said he was a bad man. She's six years old.

Sometimes it won't hit me till later when I begin to think of the things I've heard these kids say... things that have happened to them. My heart breaks for them. The other day a group of 22 kids went to the dentist and were gone all day. When they came back, they were 23. A new boy had come home with them, even the directors knew nothing about it. I was standing there with Carol, the director, and she told me he was new and that he had just showed up. She began talking to him. She asked him, "How do you feel?" He said, "I'm scared." I just had to go into the bathroom and weep for what I saw. I couldn't imagine how this little nine year old boy must be feeling. He's so quiet... so sweet. Who knows what horrible things are in his past. But Praise God, here is protected. Here he is loved and cared for. Here he hears the gospel every day and hears of a Father who will never abandon or forsake him.

Please continue to keep us and Fundaninos in your prayers. Pray that we would be driven by a love of God, and not simply out of duty. That we would be patient, and kind, gospel centered in everything we do.

We love you all. I'll try to post more pictures soon.

Rebekah